Saturday, March 04, 2006

Have a link on me!


My older daughter is about to turn nine. We’ve reached another milestone in her growing up years when I reached into the laundry and pulled out what I thought were MY jeans, but they are hers! She is already wearing my socks and shoes. Anyway, this grown up little girl decided that she’s going to give up 1) candy, 2) TV, and 3) computer games for Lent. Thats quite a list, I told her, maybe you should keep it to one thing so you’ll be more likely to succeed. After a day’s struggle, she has decided that giving up candy alone is a worthy sacrifice, and less liable to induce failure. She’s already had to refuse good behavior rewards at both school and daycare. Remind me to put an extra chocolate egg in her Easter basket.

My younger daughter joined in the discussion, saying she was going to give up homework, driving, and broccoli. And they tried to tell me this kid has a learning disability!

They asked me what I was going to sacrifice. Kids, I just gave up smoking. Thats a struggle every minute of every day. I don’t think I can deal with anything else right now. I am surrounded by people who either didn’t believe I could do it, or who don’t believe I really did. There are even people who made wild promises they didn’t think they would have to live up to, because they never dreamed I would succeed in quitting. Thats OK. I won’t call those in.

Still having a problem with blogspot.com not loading. I've been steadily adding to the list of things I have tried, thanks to a talented and manly circle of geeks. I have noticed that the sites I attempt to load the most (namely this one) will load more often now. Could it be that the computer had a stroke and now has to rewrite its neural pathways, in the same way a human brain would?


Great minds explain the Universe. As confused as THEY are, what makes you think YOU can ever figure it out?

Popoint, a speed game. You must click the numbers in order. I got down to 7 seconds before losing interest.

The Painting, a photo essay with the latest from Saddam’s trial.

Not everybody loves your kids.

Tim Tom, a terrific toon.

Submit your most difficult questions to We Three Bitches for advice thats way more useful than you might assume from the name. I think its the collaboration that does it.

So you think that hanging your food supply up high in a tree will keep bears from taking it? Look at this photo essay and think again!

When you start whining about being broke, take a stroll over to the Global Rich List and find out how poor you really are!

Legislation introduced to bar Republicans from adopting children. (Thanks, Carol Anne!)

A guaranteed winner at the Oscars!

Protect your cursor in the game Avoider.

Bembo’s Zoo is a great flash site for little kids. Pick a letter and see an animal.

Little Brother is watching you. (Thanks, Ed!)


Just How Dumb Are You?

1. What do you put in a toaster?

The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such ! as "Children's World". If you said, "water" then proceed to question three.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks", what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said "glass", then go on to question four.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree", you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.


6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, Read the first line!!!

MUSICAL INTERLUDE

Everything you need to know about The Blues. This includes the The Build Your Own Blues Singer Name Starter Kit.
Joe says, “My new blues name is Astigmatic Big Joe Eisenhower...catchy huh? My band could be the Generals or the WASPs or the Republicans!”
Hoss says, “Hooboy: Fat River Dumpling.”
Can anyone top those?

If you’re serious about The Blues, here’s some real lessons.

Rappin ‘bout Muncie, Indiana. Yes, this is funny. Really.

Country music version of I Want to be Sedated, by Two Tons of Steel.

More proof that you don’t have to sing well, dance well, or look good to have a good time.

Amusing bass guitars.

If you are into Classic Rock, you really need to go see the artwork at this blog called Ramble On. What else would expect from a blogger with the screen name of Layla?


Talk about a simple personality quiz! ColorQuiz is a free five minute personality test based on decades of research by color psychologists around the world. There are no complicated questions to answer, you simply choose colors with a click of the mouse! My results are below. This is so weird, I haven't decided whether they have some real insight goin ghere, or if maybe the results are so generic that you are led to believe it works.



ColorQuiz.comMiss+Cellania took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feel..."


Click here to read the rest of the results.




THE POND

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Some old men can still think fast!




I think this photo was taken in a place where they use a Non-American version of English. (lifted from Arbroath)









The new little picture on the sidebar is a closeup of Michaelangelo’s masterpiece sculpture David. Its a protest against Smartfilter, which blocks any site that may contain what some define as pornography. I am all for filters installed by parents in their homes, but some countries are filtering all content for their citizens, as explained over at Boingboing.


Thought for today: The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive. - Albert Einstein, 1954

15 comments:

Ivy the Goober said...

Too much fun here! I loved that bear's determination. Oh, and I found you! So I want the reward that your Wanted Poster offered!

LZ Blogger said...

I like the wanted poster! By the way, your daughter may have it right... I too am thinking about going to give up homework, driving, and broccoli! ~ jb///

Prerona said...

I love your younger daughters resolution - very good - I think I will pick up some tips from her :)

Thank you for dropping by

Ed Bremson, MFA said...

I thought about you the other day when I bought some grape tomatoes at the grocery store. Then I reread your blog on tomatoes from last summer. Funny.

The Tao of Love has started acting up. The sidebar, which used to be at the top of the page has now dropped down out of sight. Hope this is not a permanent condition. You had that problem once didn't you? Did you do anything about it?

I wasn't going to say anything about this, but since you had the photo of KY jelly today, I thought it was interesting that you live in a state whose initials are KY.

Oh, and something I meant to mention when you had the post about blondes, my favorite blonde is Kelly Ripa. I watch her and Regis all the time. Kelly says that some people are born blonde, and some are born to be blonde. Kelly (a natural brunette) was obviously born to BE blonde.

Peace.

Lana said...

thank you Cellania for stopping bye my new blog.
It was up and running 3 days ago. I have 2 others also.
This one was fun because it is a homemade template.
I am here everyday reading your blog.
It is the very first one I read in the morning. It always puts me in a good mood.

Karen said...

It's great the enthusiasm your kids have for giving things up for Lent. I'm proud of you doing so well with quitting smoking and since it is such a struggle, then it's a good thing for Lent.

The color test was interesting, but I couldn't go past the first page of the results.

I'm not as dumb as I thought I was LOL Whew.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Joel said...

Do I get any extra points for knowing that there was no no-man's-land between East and West Germanies, and that a plane would have had either two or four engines, but not three, as in the question?

Miss Cellania said...

Ed, see if there's a post with copied content that may have hard line breaks. You can copy that to a word processor, eliminate the line breaks, and copy it backback, or else shorten the lines right in the post editor. Yes, we in KY make all kinds of jokes about KY Jelly. The title of this photo was "no box too small", but I didn't think it was neccessary to 'splain it.

Ivy and Bozette are both in danger of being quoted in my header.

Joel: yes.

Wulfweard The White said...

We has looking at you facts and figures regarding yo giving up smoking. I make it you pay $1.50 for 20. In the UK its £5.30 for 20 nearer $9.00 a pack....

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You're slick, but I caught on right away: extra chocolate egg for Missy, right? You so clever.

Ed Bremson, MFA said...

Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!! I think it's fixed. The "problem" happened today, sometime after today's post (which was copied from somewhere) so I just deleted today's post, and everything seems to be back to normal. (This, after I considered using a new template, or maybe someone had hacked in, etc.) M-a-n-y thanks. Boy, you really have learned a lot, (and probably all the hard way, n'est-ce pas?) Gracias again. You're the best.

Bar L. said...

Hey! Your blog seems to be working and I'm so glad cause this was great reading! Your daughters sound like sweet and smart young ladies!

Thanks for linking me. I won't admit how well or not well I did on your questions. I know cows don't drink milk...really I do know that!

Layla :)

Miss Cellania said...

Wulfweard, I was paying $11.00 for a carton, but I'm not the one who set up that widget. This is Kentucky, where "tobacco tax" is an oxymoron.

Hoss, my daughter will be through with Lent on Easter, so she can get her reward. I can eat candy ANYTIME (but I won't).

Ed, I think you are in danger of being quoted on my header. I am a geek in training.

Bar Bar A, this blog works fine for everyone BUT ME. Its a royal pain for me to get in here just to comment. I can't load other blogspot sites most of the time.

rashbre said...

I thought little cows drank milk? This read was a week's worth of blog in a single post. The KY metaphor certainly applies, and this blog was warming as well.

And Hi, Michele sent me!

rashbre

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