Friday, April 14, 2006

Crop Circles

The stories we used to hear as kids were that aliens made crop circles as messages to spaceships flying above earth. I’m not even going to entertain those thoughts, because the real story is WAY more fascinating. Crop circles are an art form. Those who make them are artists. The medium is a bit weird, and viewing can be tough. The creation of such art is often illegal. Those who do it are dedicated, persistant, and serious as all get out. Read a bit about them at the Crop Circle Makers website. See some examples of their work. And read the story of the Circle Makers.

There are some standard steps in creating crop circles, and I’ve found a nifty how-to site.

Crop Circle Quest has some nice pictures of crop circles seen in Canada. If you liked those, here are some more pictures of circles. Muppet fans will love this one, even if it was photographed in 1948.

Crop circles have even been used for advertisements.

You have to start somewhere, but I’d recommend learning from and with an experienced artist, because an amateur job might give aliens a bad name. What would Jor-El or Mr. Spock think of this lousy job?

You may want to display your sense of humor in a circle.

But whatever you do, make sure you put your crop circle in the right place!

If crop circles are supposed to be a messages (like billboards) to UFOs, what do they mean? Top possible translations:

15. "Got Milk?"

14. "Last Planet Before the Skyway"

13. "Clean Restrooms, 12 Miles"

12. "When in Southern California, Visit Universal City"

11. "Neptune Starbucks, Open 'Til Midnight"

10. "Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity®, Only at Intergalactic House of Pancakes"

9. "McDonald's Next Exit, Mothership Drivers Eat Free"

8. "Marvin the Martian Was Here"

7. "Sigourney Lives!"

6. "Honk, if You Love Shatner"

5. "For a good time, call Jolly Green Giant ... 555-NIBLETS"

4. "'Star Trek Nemesis,' 12 • 13 • 02"

3. "Gort! Klaatu barada Hooters!"

2. "Welcome to Earth: An AOL Time-Warner Company"

And the number one translation of alien crop circle signs:

"You Must Be This Tall to Invade"

If you seriously want to read more about crop circles, go to The Adventure. It may take all day to read, but you’ll be well-informed afterward.

Thought for today: If aliens would consider us insane when they see crop circles, what could they possibly think when they see football?

This post originally appeared on November 9, 2005. I wish you all a very blessed Good Friday. New material will appear here by some mysterious means tomorrow.


Lee~William said...

..that little pigskin fellow sure knows how to operate those robots

Hale McKay said...

...A belated Happy Good Friday, and for the weekend have a Happy Easter.

Dick said...

This one is new to me but I thought you told us you had something lined up so that you could/would end the redos? I been rooting for you!

Carl said...

I thought number one would be:


But hey, that's just me....

Miss Cellania said...

Hale, Friday has barely started, you aren't belated yet!

Dick, its scheduled, but hasn't happened yet. I don't want to tempt fate by assuming too much.

Carl, I may add a reader-generated list to this post. Yours is very apt!

Anonymous said...

MC, I love your choice of topics. Also, Wizard of Id is one of my fav comics. Cool.

Happy holiday to you and yours.

Anonymous said...

According to Colin Andrews, the scientific consultant for the movie Signs, 20 percent of crop circles remain unexplained. Andrews says there's magnetic activity involved. Other scientists explain they're weather-related. And some people believe extraterrestrials caused them.

Yeah, right!

I say they're all hoaxes.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A great laugh, MC. Happy Easter.

You are invited to my 200th post party over the weekend, in which all on my bloglist will be featured!

Saur♥Kraut said...

A great post. I think it's funny that people STILL believe aliens make them. Although Jean-Luc would have a better idea than we do, of course.

Matt said...

Here is some video that shows crop circles being formed. Pretty interesting...