Thursday, February 16, 2006
They are so big, so gentle, so numerous, so stupid, so delicious. No wonder we never can get enough of cartoons featuring cows.
Set the mood for the "cow experience" by checking out the Dancing Cows.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows.
"What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
The singing cow. An experience you may want to forget.
Cows abducted by aliens.
The cows don’t much like being abducted by aliens, so they are fighting back.
This game was labeled Herding Cows, but I cannot figure out how to do it. Can anyone enlighten me?
Sculptures carved from dairy products.
Cow hit by a racecar.
A classic musical animation: Cows with Guns.
Holey Cow! Cows with holes in them.
Ski jumping cow.
This Peta ad is called Milk Gone Wild.
Explanation of the programing language COW. Geeks gotta laugh, too.
Where to find the biggest cows in America.
In honor of the Winter Games, play Brown Cow Curling.
The absolute worst beef recipe I’ve ever seen. Cow udder eclairs.
Old man Frank goes and gets a loan from the bank to buy a high priced bull. A few days later, the banker comes along and asks, "How's our bull doing?" Frank says, "Our bull ain't doing too good. I got him out there in the pasture with a bunch of young cows and he don't want nothing to do with them." The banker says, "You better call the veterinarian." A couple of days later, the banker comes along again and says, "How's our bull doing now?" Frank says, "Plenty darn good. He has done serviced all of my cows, jumped the fence, and is working on the neighbors' cows." The banker says, "Wow! What did the Vet give him?" Frank says, "He gave him some pills." The banker says, "What kind of pills?" Frank says, "I don't know, but they tasted sort of like peppermint."
THE OLD COW (lifted from Hoss)
Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an old cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it, but couldn't -- and the old cow was killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, an expensive Cuban cigar in the other. He was smiling happily and was smeared with lipstick.
"What happened?" Hillary asked.
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful daughters made mad passionate love to me."
"My goodness," said Hillary. "What did you tell them?"
"I told them I'm Hillary's driver, and I just killed the old cow."
What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
Milk of Amnesia
Thought for today: I went to a restaurant and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk. I said, "Dude, you are a cow. The metamorphosis is complete. Don't fall asleep or I will tip you over." -Mitch Hedberg
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