Saturday, December 10, 2005

Tech Humor

Computer humor just keeps crawling across my screen, especially when I am trying to do something new. You could call my path to geekdom a Comedy of Errors. The first time I got that "system failure" error message with the BOMB on it, my spine turned to jelly. What was I expecting? Smoke and cinders? I don't get many error messages with my Macs anymore, but I used to get plenty of them at work with your garden variety PCs. Still, I never saw anything as odd as the following pop up on me.

The Daily WTF is really funny if you understand it, which I only do about half the time.

This really make me laugh-weird popup messages, part one, part two,
part three, and part four.

This one's not included in any commercial software; I just thought it was funny.

This may be the one that started the collection. (Thanks, Kate!)

Computer Proverbs
(lifted from Wulfweard the White)

1. Home is where you hang your @.
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
4. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
5. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
6. The geek shall inherit the earth.
7. Don't byte off more than you can view.
8. What boots up must come down.
9. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
10. There's no place like

Dr. Seuss Computer Poem

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and go and tell your mom!

See also: Tech Support

Thought for today: Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte! (Thanks, Kirby!)

1 comment:

Kirby said...

Snopes night on Miss Cellania.

Claim: Photograph shows RAND Corporation's 1954 design for a home computer.

Status: False.