Friday, December 30, 2005

The Lists of 2005

December 30, the penultimate day on the calendar, when we look back at the old year and look ahead to a brand new opportunity to screw things up again in 2006. In my world, 2005 happened to be a year with no births, deaths, weddings, divorces, or adoptions in my family. My brother and his brood finally moved into the Money Pit house, but its not exactly finished yet. When it is, he can assemble the email updates and write a really funny book about the process of building on undeveloped land as your own contractor. It would involve legislation, injuries, crime, and heavy equipment failure akin to this.

In my home, the biggest event of the year was a property dispute where I lost my driveway, part of the garden, and all my privacy. And unless lightning strikes today, I’ve managed to go the entire year without a date. So lets put a cork in 2005. Where you stick it is up to you!

The end of the year brings us all kinds of lists reminding us what happened in the past year. I’ve assembled some that may bring a smile to your face, or even make you think.

CNNs Year in Review 2005.

TIME magazine’s best photos of the year.

From YesButNoButYes, the most Memorable Quotes of 2005.

Top Ten Conservative Idiots.

The Top 10 GOP Sound Bites.

Dubya’s Year In Review, from JibJab.

Video: Stephen Colbert on Dubya’s past year.

The funniest political videos, the top ten political humor videos, and the funniest political pictures of the year. Most of these have been featured on Miss Cellania.

The Year in Media Errors and Corrections,

From popular Science: Best new technology of 2005.

The Weirdest Tech of 2005.

The Worst Tech Moments of 2005, from Wired News.

2005's 10 Sexiest Geeks, also from Wired News.

Recap of the Year In Science.

Top Cryptozoology stories of 2005. If you don’t know what cryptozoology is, you NEED to read this.

Top Ten Videos of 2005 From National Geographic News. Talk about fascinating!

The Most Interesting Webcams of 2005. You probably want to bookmark this!

The 100 Most Annoying People of 2005.

From Forbes, this year’s Richest People.

The Year in Celebrity Babies, from iVillage.

Sports Illustrated’s Pictures of the Year, and Turkeys of the Year.

Overused Words of 2005.

Roger Ebert’s Ten Best Films of 2005. I haven’t seen any of these. I need to get out more.

The Worst Movies of 2005. I haven’t seen any of these, either.

Instead of putting a list of the best music of the year, I’ll just give you the directions for making your own list. Because I, like, don't have the time for that kind of stuff. Totally. Totally.

This is labeled Top 50 Music Videos of 2005, but its a subjective subject. What's really cool is that the list is linked to the actual videos! It will take me some time to watch them all, but the ones I've seen are AWESOME.

Your 2005 Song Is

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

"It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss"

Let's just say you're happy to be done with 2005!

While we are on the subject of music, here are a couple of lists that have nothing to do with 2005, but you might wanna take a look at the Worst Album Covers of all time and More Worst Album Covers. And heres a couple of more all-time lists that I had laying around: The 50 Worst Men’s Hairstyles of all time, and the MySpace Stupid Haircut Awards.

David Letterman’s Top 10 Signs You're At A Lame New Year's Eve Party

1. To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled and pick-pocketed..
2. The 'Party Hats' look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones.
3. There's a "Happy 1995" sticker on the packete of shrimp you've been eating all night.
4. It's January 6th.
5. Prison regulations require lights out at 10:00 pm.
6. The guests have decided to start the midnight countdown at 10,000.
7. At midnight everyone gathers around to watch your Uncle Earl's pants drop.
8. You hear a guy doing a count down before using the bathroom.
9. The 'Champagne' tastes suspiciously like apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer.

There is no number ten. This list was defective when I found it. I will take suggestions!

Thought for today: Every calendar's days are numbered.


LZ Blogger said...

re: Your post on my LAZY Blogger site! ~ Don't let that pretty smile of mine throw you off. I am MUCH stupider than it might appear! I enjoyed your humor here! (well... MOST of it anyway)! ~ jb///

Carl said...

Put a cork in this year, cuz I am SOOOO over 2005...

FTS said...

Hey -- I have you beat. I had exactly ONE date in 2005, and that was back in, um... April? May? Sheesh, it's been so long I forgot.

Actually, it really wasn't even a date. We met for a couple of beers over chips & salsa. Dutch. Became friends.

Okay, scratch that. I didn't have any dates either.