Friday, December 09, 2005

Holiday Shopping Guide Volume Two

Have you finished all your Christmas shopping yet? If you shop online, you may have. But if not, here’s volume two of Miss Cellania’s Shopping Guide as promised. These are all items that crossed my computer in the two weeks since volume one was published. If you purchase anything listed here, you can pretty much guarantee that the recipient doesn’t already have one. I am far from finishing my shopping. Its easy to buy for the kids, since they don’t have the income to get their own stuff. Adults? I’ve bought gifts for the same adults for so long that its pretty hard to surprise them. But I keep trying!

Are you one of the classic types of bad gift givers? Maybe today's post will help you out of that rut.

Sometimes you must be VERY specific when you ask someone for a Christmas gift. Look what happened to Prydwen.

A list of the 10 Worst Christmas gifts to give to someone. Its from Shop In Private, so you can figure out what to expect.

Carl’s favorite place to shop: Miss Poppy. He’s got his own gift shop, too, called Young and Hung.

Limited edition Goldfish Condo. Of COURSE I'll spend $500 to keep my goldfish from becoming bored with a one-room fish bowl!

Buy the Worst President Ever merchandise here.

George Bush playing cards, containing 54 reasons for impeachment.

Neat idea: a security camera hidden in a clock.

Avenging unicorn playset. Everyone needs an imaginary unicorn friend that they can call forth to smite their enemies.

Foam rubber helmet covers. Shapes available include spiked mohawk, ladybug, T-rex, brains (pictured) and more. Draws attention, I’d say!

While you’re out cycling with your brain helmet cover, you may as well wear this skeletal training jacket.

This looks amazingly handy: The Screw-Up.

Hand-knitted scrollbar scarves. Keep your geek neck warm!

The dissapearing Civil Liberties coffee mug.

Your very own stripper pole! Four colors avilable.

Masked hoodies. Wear this and scare the hell out of the neighbors. You may as well wear a sign that says “arrest me!”

For the little girl you just can’t spend enough money on, a Hello Kitty Fender Guitar.

From the Why-didn't-I-think-of-that files, a lighted switchplate.

Grandma Barbie (Thanks, Holly!)

For the woman who know how to get what she wants, some rhinestone brass knuckles.

So cool! Piranha-shaped dental floss dispensers.

Anti-Christmas cards.

Adult Christmas wrapping paper.

Christmas Shopping

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says, "What?"
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her Christmas shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.

She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth each. And then they go to the Jewellery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she doesn't care.

She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, okay if you like it then let's get it. You deserve the best for Christmas."

The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey, I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."

The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a man."

See also: Holiday Shopping Guide Volume One

Thought for today: Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

1 comment:

Carl said...

Aw, thanks for the mention, dear!