Little Boys

Just ask anyone who has both boys and girls, there is a world of difference between them from the day of birth. My family had three little girls in a row. Then my nephew was born , and all the parental knowledge my generation had gleaned was tossed on its ear. I recently read an essay where a mother (an engineer) calculated that her son was 15.3 times as likely to do something extremely dangerous as her daughter... at age 16 months! So lets take a look at the world of little boys.

THINGS TO LEARN AND REMEMBER

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft . house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few a times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jelly.

15. VCR's do not eject sandwiches.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odour is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. Raw eggs and semi digested cheese stick to walls and ceilings very well.

25. 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.



MORE STORIES

The stuff little boys get into! Here’s the Boys Guide to Spelunking.

The Radioactive Boy Scout.

This boy will have some explaining to do!








THE PHONE CALL (lifted from Wulfweard the White)

The call came through at about 3.30pm.

"Which emergency service do you require?"
"Police please," whispered the tiny voice on the other end of the phone. "Please tell them to come quickly."
"Can you tell me where you live?"
Again the whisper.
"246 Charles Street. The house is on fire."
"Do you need the fire men as well?"
"No they're already here."
"Are you OK?"
"Yes," came the whisper again, "well I am at the moment. Please ask the police to hurry. I'm really frightened."
"Are your parents there? Are they safe?"
"Yes."
"Are they with you?"
"No. They're searching for me with the firemen," the voice whispered again."They don't know where I am."
"Why aren't you with them? Where are you?"
"I'm hiding under the bed with the box of matches."



Andi Buchanan wrote a book about raising boys called “Its A Boy!” Here are links to a ton of bloggers who reviewed the book.

Thought for today: I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

How about your boys? Whats the wildest story you have?

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