Shorties

Sarah leaned forward and said, "Tillie, I thought something was wrong. Do you realize that you've got a suppository in your left ear?"

"I have?" Tillie reached up and removed it from her ear and stared at it. Then she said to Sarah, "I'm glad you saw this thing. NOW I think I know where my hearing aid is!"

*****

After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.

My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?"

Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia.

He replied "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

*****

A patron asked the librarian why Tales of Robin Hood had been withdrawn from the collection.

The librarian replied, "Too much Saxon violence."

*****

 Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.

Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.

*****

 After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up.

"Get up dear," she said, "it's 20 to seven."

He awoke with a start and said, "In who's favor?"