Shorties

A panda walks into a bar, interrupting a heated argument between two customers. The bartender turns to the panda and says, "Hey, just the guy we needed! Tell Ollie and Neville here... are you a bear or some kind of raccoon?"

The panda ponders this for a moment and replies, "Hmmn. You know, not everything is black and white like that."

*****

An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

*****

 Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening."

Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that."

"Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit,' 'Stop,' and 'Don't!'"

*****

The nervous blonde sat on the dentist's chair to have her tooth extracted. Seeing so many instruments, she got frightened.

"Doc, I would rather have a baby than have my tooth pulled out."

The dentist retorted, "Well, make up your mind so that I can adjust the chair accordingly."

*****

 A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?"

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."