Astronomy

My little scientist Princess has always been fascinated by stars. One of her first English words was star, although it came out “ta”. Her favorite shape. Later, planets were her thing, and she was devastated when Pluto was downgraded. She wanted to be an astronomer for a while, til she left the telescope out in the yard one day too many and it was stolen. Now she is back to geology. Oh well. We still enjoy a cloudless night trying to identify the constellations.
      

The Jealous Astronaut
   

 Doesn’t this look like it could be the intro for a sitcom? Sort of an updated version of I Dream of Jeannie.       

Keep up with all the cool astronomy news with the Bad Astronomy Blog.   

The Wikipedia knockoff of the day is Slackerpedia Galactica, factual pages on astronomical topics, but loaded with humor, jokes, cheesieness and the absurd.     

Deep Space is an enchanting multimedia trip in photographs and music from millions of light years in deep space to our own small planet Earth. (via the Presurfer)

 The case for downsizing the Solar System.

Start your day with the beauty of the cosmos at Astronomy Picture of the Day.

Looks like our friend Mike Ashley (also known as the pointmeister) has landed on Mars!       

Yep, you can find the dumbest people on the internet making comments at YouTube. Thats a broad subject, but this particular comic from Xkcd belongs here. (Thanks, Bill!)   
                      

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

   

What Planet Are You From?

The redneck astronomer.

  THREE ASTRONAUTS

Once upon a time NASA decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The first astronaut decided to take along his wife, the second decided to take along books to learn how to speak German, while the third astronaut decided to take along cigarettes.   

Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home.   

First came the first astronaut and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms.   

Next, out came the second astronaut speaking fluent German.   

They both gave their speeches and got a rousing applause.   

Suddenly out came the third astronaut with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium and snarled to the crowd and asked, 'Has anyone got a friggin' match?!?'        

ASTRONOMERS ONLINE

In the early days of the internet, astronomers were always getting booted from newsgroups (forums) by moderators who weren’t astronomers.        

More years ago than I care to think about, back in the early days of on-line activity, there was a group of us that discussed astronomy on the old, old version of Prodigy (I still see some of their names here once in a while).  In those days, every posting was read by a censor prior to allowing it on-line......we had some real arguments over rejected postings because the censor that covered the "Outdoor Hobbies" area, where astronomy was covered, was _!!REALLY!! dumb!  She wouldn't allow any posting regarding Uranus (she once told me that she KNEW there was no planet with that obscene name), rejected any discussing about Saturn (no commercials were allowed, and our efforts to discuss Saturn were "thinly veiled attempts to promote automobile sales"), and when we tried to refer to Saturn as the "ringed" planet, she rejected those postings also as 'inappropriate."  She suggested that it would be "more appropriate" to talk about 'rings' on the jewelry making board. -Wayne Howell        

Well, after all, astronomers do post messages along the lines of:    
1) "Exactly how long is your tube?"    
2) "I need a friend to help me grind this thing..."    
3) "I want to get in a little naked-eye action."    
4) "What's the closest anyone's ever gotten to Uranus?"    
5) "You need a bigger unit so you can go deeper..."    
6) "What's the best way to mount a Short-Tube?"    
7) Reasons why smaller apertures are better...    
8) Are you going to shoot the Virgin tonight?    
9) She kept observing it as it rose higher and higher    
10)  "Mine is bigger than yours"    
11)  "Who says aperture doesn't count?"    
12)  "We do it in the dark"    
13)".....and all night long"    
14)  EYEGASMS!    
15) "I use shower caps over the end of my 10 and 6 inch..., you will need the extra large size for your 12.5 inch."    
16) "Do you have your angle of the dangle correct?"    
17) "Viagra kept me going all night long!"    
18) "I love going deep ...."    
19) "The deeper the better"    
20) "Aperture always wins"
     
I Only Have Eyes for You (Thanks, Walter!)
           

This entry was first published on March 1, 2007. That may explain some anomalies, but I will try to fix them.