It's his opinion, nothing more. That's according to comedian Lewis Black in this rant he pulls out every Halloween in his standup routine. Your mileage may vary. In just a minute and a half, Black manages to shove all our candy corn jokes into one little story. Sure, it's old fashioned. Sure, it's always there for the holiday. Sure, it has little taste beyond that of corn syrup. But it will always be the symbol of our modern trick-or-treat customs. Of course, his scenario is fictional. We know that candy corn has been around since the 1880s, and it was advertised at one time. (via Digg)
Monday, October 24, 2022
Candy Corn is the Worst Thing About Halloween
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5 comments:
I always know when it's close to Halloween
because that's when all the Christmas decorations come out.
Aha, that explains candy corn, and why it comes back every year... it's a Christmas decoration. LoL
I've always thought of candy corn as wax teeth. It's looks like disembodied rotten teeth and it's made of candle wax.
The first time I ever saw candy corn I was in second grade. It was in a bowl by the door of the classroom. I put a single one in my mouth and the instant it touched my tongue I had to throw up. I might have made it to a trash can or the bathroom, I don't remember, but it was /urgent/. Even a picture of candy corn is horrible. It's the worst. Next-worst: any candy with shredded spoiled coconut in it. And next to that, those vile chocolate balls that look okay but you bite into it and it explodes in cherry sugar syrup that somehow is sweeter that pure sugar, so sweet your head hurts from wincing. Bleagh.
The best candy is a tie between dark-chocolate-covered raisins and Snickers bars, and the best candy in a candy-assortment box is the one that's the most like a Snickers bar but darker and harder, almost too hard to bite.
Pumpkin pie with whipped cream is tolerable. The closer it approaches 100-percent whipped cream the better it is.
Pumpkin pie with whipped cream... hold the pie. Sounds like a plan.
Candy corn that has honey in it is the best candy corn.
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