Senior Sex Shorties

Two old ladies were sitting on the porch at the old folks home. One turned to the other and asked "Martha, you were married a long time, did you and your husband have mutual orgasm?"

The other little old lady sat and rocked for a minute and said, "No, I think we had State Farm."

*****

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

The other replies, "Oh sure I do."

The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"

The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

*****

It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady comes running towards her screaming. "Please come quickly!" she yelled, "I just saw a naked man outside my window!"

The receptionist immediately rushes up to the old lady's room. "Where is he?" asked the receptionist.

"He's over there," replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel.

The receptionist looks over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment. "It's probably a man who's getting ready to go to bed," she said reassuringly. "And how do you know he's naked, you can only see him from the waist up?"

"The dresser, honey!" screamed the old lady. "Try standing on the dresser!"

*****

An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn't get up to leave until the theater was ready to close for the night.

"You folks must've enjoyed the show," the usher said.

"Disgusting!" said the old lady.

"It was revolting," her husband added.

"Then why did you sit through it twice?" the usher asks.

"We had to wait until you turned up the house lights," the old lady replied. "We couldn't find my panties and his teeth were in them!"

(via It Occurred to Me)