John Thick

Steven Seagal built a reputation as an emotionless action star in the 1980s, but has been churning out low-budget action films ever since, until they all tend to run together. His muttering has become unintelligible, and his action is, shall we say, more subdued every year. But he keeps cranking out the movies. Corridor has produced a mashup that places Seagal into the John Wick franchise, which has better production values than any 21st century Seagal movie. The McGuffin has changed, too, as this film is all about the chair. The chair Seagal sits in, when he isn't doing that weird running that always confounded viewers. They have helpfully provided some captioning for his dialogue. The more you know about the rise and fall of Steven Seagal, the more you'll appreciate the details of this ridiculous faux trailer. (via Geeks Are Sexy)