Menopause

No, I’m not there yet, but in the AP circles I hang with, I hear a lot about menopause. Women discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly, not to mention the horrifying! But you have to laugh, because our great-great-grandmothers didn’t live long enough to experience the joy of “The Change.” And our grandmas didn’t have HRT. We had a lot of laughs figuring that I’d be dealing with menopause at approximately the same time my two daughters go through puberty. Uh oh, I think I may have just destroyed any chance of a long-term relationship with a man!

I witnessed a hot flash just the other day. A woman was reading the scripture at Sunday School when she stopped and said "I'm going to have a Little Summer here." Immediately, three other women reached into their purses, retrieved fans, and starting fanning her! Sisterhood rules!

Menopause: Is it really for you? Like we have a choice! But this is a good, if somewhat twisted, primer on "The Change”.

Omegamom on hot flashes.

Sue created an entire blog about it: My Menopause Blog.

Beer may help. At least they are working on it!

Minnie Pauz has lots of funny menopause links.

I found a gift shop for menopausal women who want to be in “Flashion”.

There’s even a Broadway musical about it.

Daddio came across the male equivalent.




MIDLIFE MUSINGS (Thanks, Jeanine!)

I can almost feel myself losing weight....by forwarding this to you! You'll understand at the end. I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be...
Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your-know- it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally -more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile.

Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.

That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!


MOOD SWINGS AND MOOD RINGS (Thanks, Del!)

Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my
mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able
to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm
in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he'll buy me diamonds. Here, have some chocolate.

Thought for today: I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week. -Erma Bombeck


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