Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Dogs and Cats

Once upon a time, domesticated animals had a purpose, a practical purpose, like herding sheep or catching mice. Along the way, we found out they can be quite funny, too. In modern times, entertainment value is plenty reason to own a pet. Some people aren’t satisfied with just one kind of entertainment, so they unnaturally confine these natural enemies together, with ensuing hilarity.

Advice for the ladies... decades too late!!

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section,
Buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you,
Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it,
Buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want,
Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies,
Buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores,
Buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually,
Buy a dog.

But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness,


Buy a cat!

(You thought I was talking about a man didn't you?)

Somehow I think this might be illegal. Its certainly not for prudes.

Thought for today: Cats is cats and dogs is dogs and ne’er the twain shall meet. At least seriously.

1 comment:

Sorcerer Mickey said...

KITTEN. It's what's for Dinner!