Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as a lover.
The first woman says "My Husband works as a marriage counselor. He buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."
The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that."
The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Three Wives
Friday, February 24, 2012
Pun Hunting at the Grocery Store
Jeff Wysaski of Pleated-Jeans went to the grocery store to shop for puns. He found plenty, although the quality of the wares varies widely. Buyer beware!
Puffer Fish Chasing a Laser
It's always fun to watch your cat chase a light from a laser pointer, but if you don't have a cat, fish will do it, too! (via Arbroath)
Life is Weird. Also beautiful.
Something came along that makes me think that sticking with mental_floss so long might not be a bad idea after all. Two former mental_floss writers have books at the top of the NYT Bestseller list. And they are friends. John Green made this video about it. Read more here.
The News Out of Context
Cassetteboy shows how easy it is to get recorded people to say anything you want them to say, with a little deft editing. (via The Daily What)
Friday Fun Links
6 Movies That Inadvertently Remade Other Movies.
Allie Brosh's "Clean All the Things" comic panel took on a life of its own as a meme. Now artist Sam Spratt has made a terrifyingly hyperrealistic version, and shows us how he did it.
On the Implausibility of the Death Star's Trash Compactor. Real space stations recycle, and would never bother powering two moving walls. (Thanks, Bicycle Bill!)
William Hughes snowboards down the French Alps at night wearing a suit covered with light-emitting diodes designed by John Spatcher. (via Metafilter)
Brave is Pixar’s first movie featuring a strong female heroine. And she’s a crack shot, as you’ll see in the new trailer.
Theo Gray, co-founder of Wolfram, talks about how his Periodic Table Table came about. Most of the elements are represented physically in the table table.
Just Some Meerkats Discussing Tom Cruise Movies. They’ve been known to be vicious critics.
The Flasher
Three older ladies named Rose, Gertrude and Mildred were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the parking lot. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
Rose immediately had a stroke. Then Gertrude also had a stroke.
But Mildred, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.
(via It Occurred to Me)
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Hors Cycles
Um, don't try this at home, even if you happen to have a bicycle, trampoline, and unicycle. (via Metafilter)
He Hates the Broccoli!
Even a 7-week-old Pomeranian puppy can tell that dropped piece of broccoli is up to no good! (via Bits and Pieces)
Old Flame
I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who, this morning, called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'old magic'.
'Wow!' I was flabbergasted.
'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now', I said, 'I'm a bit older and a bit grayer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have.'
She just giggled and said she was sure I would 'rise to the challenge'.
'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!'
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.
She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.
Anyway, she giggled and said, 'I've put on a few pounds myself!'
So I told her to f*@k off.
(Thanks, Duke!)
Challenge Accepted: 8 Inspiring Stories
Sisyphus Gets a Snowthrower
In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was compelled to roll a boulder up a hill and watch it roll back down, so he could start his task all over again. The YouTube description (in Polish) says this guy kept it up for an hour and a half. You have to wonder if anyone ever explained to him that you could aim the snow out to the side. (via TYWKIWDBI)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)