Hillary Clinton Nutcracker.

If nothing changes between now and 2008, I’ll most likely vote for her, but this is too funny not to share! Get your Hillary Clinton Nutcracker for just $19.95. See the video here. Nuts also available. (via Everlasting Blort)

Information worth reading.

If it happens in Second Life, is it really cheating?

A low-tech way to turn saltwater into fresh water.

13 things you should avoid doing on a first date. (via Look at This)

If we knew how to live on Mars, we'd know how to reduce our footprint on Earth. (via Boing Boing)

There are no giant bugs under your bed, and here is why.

Does your job make you smile?

My Daughter Won’t Shut Up. At age four, the inner monologue is on the outside.

The Cup&Up surgery to give you a bra underneath the skin. This creeps me out.

If you are a student at Penn State and need repair help, you can request one via computer. It ain’t gonna be easy, so here’s a helpful guide. If you’re not a Penn State student, this is an example of how NOT to design a system. (via Metafilter)

Mother Teresa goes to Heaven

Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greets her at the Pearly Gates. "Are you hungry, Mother Teresa?" says God.

"I could eat," Mother Teresa replies.

So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it.

While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remains quiet.The next day God again invites her to join Him for a meal.

Again, it is tuna and rye bread.

Once again, Mother Teresa can see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates.

Still she says nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrives and another can of tuna is opened.

She can't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she says: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with You as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! I just don't understand."

God sighs. "Let's be honest," He says. "For just two people, does it pay to cook?"

(via Big Shot Bob in Texas)

Around the Blogosphere

Skunkfeathers has no tornados to chase, so he’s been scambaiting. In this epic story, he puts on a benefit concert to raise funds for a Nigerian 419 “magazine editor”. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five.

Omegamom had to ship turtles to Alaska. Here’s how to pack turtles for shipping. In case you ever need to know. The hard part is finding someone who will ship them.

PRAYER LIST

Lisa B. has a friend in her building battling ovarian cancer AND the health insurance company.

Vickie is dealing with the effects of MS and keeping a smile on her face as much as she can.

Raggedy still battles health problems and not yet able to take part in blogging. Meanwhile, Hoss is posting at her site.

If you know of other prayer concerns, email me or leave a comment.

Contortionist Dance

May be disturbing.

Lots of Fun Links

Fark displayed its 3 millionth active thread today, with a big thread to celebrate. Congratulations to Drew Curtis and the gang at Fark on the milestone!

Attacked by a Catwalk! This is why I am SO thankful that I am not a million-dollar fashion model.

TheWAREHOUSE Bacon Tomb: One Year Later.

What happens in a Vegas bathroom stays in a Vegas bathroom. Or not.

Put Your Hands Up for Detroit was a video pitch from Stuart Alexander MacKay-Smith (SmackEyeSmith), featuring strippers, contortionists, and hoochie-coochie dancers. The idea was rejected. I found it quite clever. (via Metafilter)

No more Flat Chests!

The Internet Phenomena Phonetic Alphabet. (via Neatorama)

Anatomy Tattoos. (via Respectful Insolence)

Strongbad plays miniature golf.

World Record Underpants-Jumping.

You know how every once in a while you run across something so random, so nonsensical, and so off-the-wall that you have to share it with everyone? Read this.

Pols in the News

Cheney was right!

What’s next for Karl Rove.

Bush is trying to beat Reagan’s record for the most vacation time taken while in office.

Here’s something to make you think. Is it ethically bad to cheat to save millions of lives? What if you profit from it? And will the real facts ever come out?

Military spending.

Texas is the only place in the United States where a person can be factually innocent of murder and still face the death penalty. Like Kenneth Foster.

Bulletproof Backpack

Here's an ad that can send chills up your spine... but remember, it's an AD, they are trying to sell you a product. I must be a bad mama, since I bought the standard $15 backpacks for my kids.

Interesting

Don’t Try This at Home: Totally Dangerous Experiments.

21 Critical Life Lessons You Didn’t Learn in School. This is good.

New documentary on the history of vibrators.

Ten Reasons why Teddy Roosevelt is the Coolest President Ever.

The Ten Best Bands that Never Existed. (via the Presurfer)

The Best Movies Never Made. (via Grow-A-Brain)

Colorful Solar Eclipse coming August 28th.

Ten strange facts about Sir Isaac Newton.

The iPhone Shuffle

Welcome to America

Welcome to America. A journalist from England came to LA for a story and was arrested for not knowing she now needed a special visa. This is the way we treat visitors from allied nations these days.

Wrongly deported to Mexico, a developmentally disabled man is found safe weeks later. Did they even try to find out his nationality? Or is it just illegal to be brown these days?

Another horror story about gays with no rights. After 25 years together, one partner became disabled, and custody was awarded to his parents, who will not let the other partner even visit, much less participate in his care. Anyone in a committed relationship without the benefit of marriage needs to anticipate all scenarios and get their ducks in a row legally. Of course, marriage would take care of all these piecemeal legalities, but until then, you must protect yourself.

Just for Fun

Opportunities in Abstinence Training. (via Exploding Aardvark)

The advertising company Star Dust has compiled a mesmerizing video montage of samples from their work over the past year. Set to the music of Gimme Shelter, its a treat for the eyes! (via YesButNoButYes)

Don’t do a victory dance until after you’ve crossed the finish line!

Louis CK on kids. NSFW audio. Hilarious!

The Dancing Steve Ballmer Zune ad that got a Microsoft employee fired.

At Miss Cellania, you’ll want to see new posts on Cooking, Mixed Drinks, and the First Date.

The Language of Coffee

I posted a link to the Starbucks Oracle at Neatorama. It’s a silly generator that tells you your personality according to what you order at Starbucks. The comments were active. Someone asked why Starbucks is demonized. I can’t really answer that, as I don’t go to Starbucks. There isn’t one anywhere near where where I live. One person answered about how Starbucks pushed out local coffeeshops. Another said they corrupted the language of coffee. The language of coffee?

Then I found a post at the Consumerist, Order A Starbucks Tazo Chai Latte For Half Price.

I simply ask for a chai tea misto, with two bags so it's nice and strong, and half cinnamon and half vanilla syrup, with lots of foam. I sprinkle a bit of cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla on the foam and BAM! I've halved my drink allowance for the week, but not lost any of the flavour.

Alrighty then. I know that “chai” is an Indian word for “tea” (in America, its usually short for “masala chai”, which mean “spicy tea”), and “latte” is French for “got milk?” but I have no clue what "tazo" or "misto" is. Yep, its a whole ‘nother language. There is a fancy-schmancy coffee shop in my little town (not a chain), but they are OK with me going in and ordering a “large coffee.” Especially since my kids order Jones Soda and chai.

What's Going On

Bush vs. Zombies (Thanks, Jan!)


The AFL-CIO Democratic Debate, August 7, 2007. Jellio posted the whole thing, in nine parts.

A chart of presidential candidates and their positions.

Celebrating Income Equality. Why its a good thing that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. And an excellent response from Saskboy.

Eating babies, poisoned bullets? Disturbing myths the Iraqis believe about the US military.

Jason Alexander is Lord Rovemort.

How the news works. (via Grow-A-Brain)

America is taxing for all but the very rich.

Information you can use.

Remastering the original Star Trek series.

How to make your very own exploding soap.

Tiger gives birth to twin cubs - one yellow and one white. Tony asks Maury Povich for advice, DNA testing.

Proponents thought pornography would enhance sex. Naysayers said it would lead to rape and obsession. Read about how it has turned out to have neither effect. In fact, it kinda ruins things for normal folks.

Why do people have sex? Duh. Because it feels good.

How to make an eyeball pincushion.

The history of perpetual motion machines.

How your brain deals with falling in love.

10 Unsolved Mysteries Of The Brain.

Fun links

Giant steampunk robots fight it out in A Gentlemen’s Duel.

Bird Deterrant Fails. (via Arbroath)

A collection of misheard lyrics videos. You’ll never hear these songs the same again.

The ten worst sci-fi shows ever.

Nude skydiving.

The movie Airplane! was based on a serious but cheesy movie called Zero Hour. You might notice the resemblance.

Kuato Sings Chocolate Rain.

The Hazards of Live Reporting, chapter 832. The Brits handle this sort of thing a little differently.

Today at Miss Cellania: Teenage Boys.

Political Links

Salary, gender and the social cost of haggling.

If abortion were illegal, how much jail time should the guilty woman get? Watch the video of protesters answering this question.

Rove refuses to testify, claiming executive privilege. And why not? So many have tried this and no one has done anything to stop it.

If Roosevelt had run WWII like Dubya.

Speculation about what oil prices will do to us.

Wedding Announcements

More unfortunate (but funny) wedding announcements.

And even more here. (via Puppies and Flowers)

More previously posted at Miss Cellania.

Interesting Links

Ten classic World of Warcraft music videos.

12 Pop Culture Cavemen (and Cavewomen).

Charley. You haven’t seen a touching kitty video until you’ve seen this one.

The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2007 results showcase the worst writing ever.

The rise & fall of the prefrontal lobotomy. Not for the squeamish.

Here’s a collection of clever male and female restroom door signs from around the world. (via the Presurfer)

Robots