How the Internet Came to Be

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.

Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder, & long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town w/thy goods when thou canst trade w/out ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as tho she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns & drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, & they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums & delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long & decided he would let Dot have her way w/the drums.

And the drums rang out & were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, w/out ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she & the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), & she also developed a language to transmit ideas & pictures … Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish w/joy at the new riches & the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed, he did insist on drums to be made that would work only w/Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.

And that's the truth.

(Thanks, Ken D!)