(via (I Am Bored)
Saturday, March 31, 2012
A Soothing Musical Interlude
"Rolling in the Deep," played on a Chinese zither, an instrument known as the GuZheng. (via Everlasting Blort)
The Model
There was an artist who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now.His model showed up and, after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work.
He told her not to bother, since he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay her for the day, but that she could just go home; he just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed.
The model said, "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the least I can do."
He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. They were sitting in the living room exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea, when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps.
"Oh my!" he whispered loudly, "It's my wife! Quick! Take all your clothes off!"
Drunk Serenades Officers with Bohemian Rhapsody
Robert Wilkinson had a little too much and decided the back of a squad car was the perfect place for karaoke. This happened in Edson, Alberta last November. Wilkinson was given a copy of the video to use in his defense, and he uploaded it to YouTube himself.
What would you sing if you were arrested? Find some suggestions in my Late Movies post at mental_floss.
At the Salon
A blonde walks into a beauty salon to get a hair cut with headphones on. The hairdresser asks her to take them off for the haircut and she replies, "I can't, I'll die." She proceeds to cut her hair and it looks awful.Six weeks later the same blonde comes in for another haircut. The hairdresser pleads with her, "Please take your headphones off - I can make your hair look beautiful." Once again the blonde replies, "I can't, I'll die". So she receives another awful haircut.
Six weeks later the blonde show up at the salon and once again the hairdresser says, "Please take your headphones off - I can make your hair beautiful if you would just take off the headphones". And once again the blonde replies, "I can't, I'll die".
The hairstylist proceeds to cut her hair. While doing so the blonde falls asleep. The hairstylist quickly thinks to herself - I will remove the headphones and replace them before she wakes up, I'll make her hair beautiful. Seconds after doing this the blonde falls off the chair. The hairdresser checked her and she wasn't breathing.
Dying to know what was keeping her alive with the headphones on, The hairstylist places them on her head. And she hears............
"Breathe in, breathe out - breathe in, breath out - ........"
Friday, March 30, 2012
The Treniers
The song is "Rockin' Is Our Business" by The Treniers on The Colgate Comedy Hour, hosted by Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. This was aired in May of 1954, and may be the earliest rock 'n' roll performance on television. A good time was had by all. (via Metafilter)
Flashing Chick
Flashing Chick - $3.95 (sold separately)
Has work got you down? Maybe you would feel better if you were surrounded by a bunch of cute chicks. The NeatoShop can help. Behold the adorable Flashing Chick from the NeatoShop. Tap one on a hard surface and watch it light-up. These little cuties are always happy to see you.
Flashing Chicks are available in: blue, green, orange, pink, purple, and yellow. Buy one or buy all 6. Share the love and put one in someones pocket.
Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more Office & Desk fun!
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Miss Cellania's Links
Amazon Founder Jeff Bezos wants to retrieve Apollo 11′s engines from the ocean floor. If he succeeds, they'll still belong to NASA, even 43 years later.
Nick Berry of DataGenetics has calculated the best strategy for winning the game Hangman. You might think you know which letters to pick first to maximize your chance of guessing right, but there’s a lot more involved than you ever considered!
Obamacare allowed Nancy Meyer to buy private health insurance coverage for her daughter, who has a heart defect. Now she regrets that, because private insurance is way worse than government insurance. (via Breakfast Links)
When Social Networks and Body Image Collide. When strangers come together on sites like Pinterest, they can enable eating disorders, if not outright encourage them.
Gwen tried out for a position in the new field of data processing, and aced the test. That surprised everyone around her who assumed that a black woman could never be smart enough, but the machines didn't care who ran them.
Skyrim Hoarders is another pop culture mashup. If you have even a passing familiarity with either part, you'll get a laugh out of how they're put together.
8 ridiculous pop culture-inspired cookbooks. You, too, can learn to cook like a fictional character, or a fictional chef who cooks fictional food for fictional characters.
New York 1925
This was an actual incident of traffic being stopped for a cat to carry her kittens across a street. However, by the time the reporters arrived, the mother cat was done. So what did they do? They took the kittens back across the street, giving the photographers another opportunity to snap the scene. (via reddit)
Happy Kitchen Candy Hamburgers
Happy Kitchen Candy Hamburgers is a Japanese kit that takes "playing with your food" to a whole new level. You mix up various powders with water and mold them into a fast food meal: burgers, fries, and even a cola! A couple of the components require a zap in the microwave. Emmymadeinjapan reviewed the product and says the resulting miniature meal is edible. Despite the word "candy" in the title, it is not sweet, but tastes somewhat like the food it represents. (via Buzzfeed)
Rescue Squad
One evening, the rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for an apparent heart attack the gentleman had. When the squad got there is was too late and the man had died.While consoling the wife one of the rescuers noticed that the bed was a mess. He asked the lady what symptoms the man had suffered and if anything had precipitated the heart attack.
The lady replied, "Well, we were in the bed making love and he started moaning, groaning, thrashing about the bed, panting, and sweating. I thought he was coming, but I guess he was going."
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Downton Arby's
From the producers of "Sonic and Sensibility" and "Pizza Hut and Prejudice" (which I hope becomes a real thing) it's the mashup for American fast food fans! Actually it's a video from Josh Weiner. And possibly the perfect sponsor for the TV show Downton Abbey. (via Metafilter)
I didn’t bring the library book back because...
-I left it in my truck and my truck was in an accident and got towed to the garage and I won't be able to get to the garage in Abbotsford until this weekend.-my mother took it camping and lost it.
-I didn't take it out!
-my cat peed on it and it smells too bad.
-it flew out the car window on the 401 Freeway and was devoured by an 18 wheeler!
Got any other good ones?
Cat In A Box Itazura Mechanical Coin Bank
Have you been endlessly searching for the perfect way to store your oodles extra cash? You need the Cat In A Box Mechanical Coin Bank from the NeatoShop. Place a coin on the dish and the cute mechanical kitty pops out and steals your money.
Coin bank also available in Panda and Dog versions. Buy 1 or buy all 3.
Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more Money Banks & Storage fun!
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Remember, a portion of every NeatoShop item you buy through this website helps to support Miss Cellania.
Order your Miss Cellania T-shirt at the NeatoShop, too!
Hollywood Peeps: 15 Oscar-winning Films in Marshmallow
Miss Cellania's Links
As the Supreme Court decides the fate of Obamacare, should we be concerned that a couple of justices have substantial investments in the health care industry? Unlike other federal courts, Supreme Court justices decide themselves whether a conflict of interest exists.
Fifteen years after an accident destroyed his face, Richard Lee Norris Has a new one. See photographs of the most extensive facial transplant ever attempted.
Meet the Nanoputians. Chemists at Rice University synthesized the cutest little molecules you’ve ever seen, using chains of chemical reactions.
Last week, police in Maryland pulled Batman over for not having plates on his Lamborghini. There's more to the story, as Batman turns out to be a real superhero.
Can Watching Sad Movies Make You Happier? It depends on whether your life is better than those of the onscreen characters.
The MPAA gave the documentary Bully an R rating, so producers decided to release it as unrated. This strategy may backfire, as theaters often refuse to show unrated films.
6 Things Named After Napoleon. If that's not immortality, I don't know what is.
Dad hasn't spoken to me since this series of e-mails.
In defense of socialism.
Look at this photograph. Every time I do it makes me laugh. This apparently references a Nickelback song.
Dog Tired
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.
Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Beanie Baby Hunger Games
Warning: probably contains spoilers, I don't know. The Hunger Games, performed by Beanie Babies. I hear this is more faithful to the book than to the movie, but I haven't read the book or seen the movie, so you let me know.
Tire Rolls Down Mountain
A group of young people push a big tractor tire up a hill in order to watch it roll down the other side. Why? Some things have no reason other than to be fun. Sure, it would have been more satisfying to actually have been there and done this, but watching it on a video is the next best thing! (via Metafilter)
Miss Cellania's Links
Ontario has legalized brothels in order to keep prostitution off the streets. The court's decision is expected to provide safer conditions for sex workers.
When screencaps go wild: Funny Television Confessions.
The Conservative Teen magazine did not get enough subscriptions to print their first issue, so they put it online free. That link was pulled, but not before Buzzfeed got some screenshots. (via Metafilter)
Not surprisingly, financial confidence has taken a big hit in the last few years. Recovery from economic shell-shock may take longer than the overall economic recovery.
NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center Scientific Visualization Studio brings us a visualization of the earth's water currents called Perpetual Ocean. It looks like Van Gogh's Starry Night!
What Makes a Bestseller? A comparison of Gone With The Wind and The Hunger Games.
This low tech piece of equipment is a newly-designed injured personnel carrier. It's so simple, why didn't we do this before?
The 40 Most Disastrous Facebook Spelling Mistakes Ever.
3 reasons Americans want out of Afghanistan. That is, new reasons that just cropped up, in addition to the regular reasons we want a war ended.
5 TV Shows that Predicted the Future. Or in at least some of the cases, television provided inspiration for later developments.
14 Batman Window Cameos
In the 1960s TV series Batman, celebrities often made short cameos by popping their heads out the window when Batman and Robin climbed up and down the walls of tall buildings. How many of the 14 can you name? (via Boing Boing)
The Infirmary
An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks:"What’s your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What’s your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man." says the Major.
He goes to the next bed. "What’s your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What’s your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man." says the Major.
He goes to the next bed. "What’s your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What’s your ambition?"
"To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"
(Thanks, Phil’s Phun!)
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
ABC Monsters
ABC monsters from La Pompadour on Vimeo.
Can you name all the monsters, A to Z? Language warning for one word. (via Breakfast Links)
An Eagle, a Fox, and a Cat Walk into a...
Well, actually, they're just all hanging out on the porch at a home in Unalaska, Alaska. The homeowner, pla1554alaska, says:
See how the fox, eagle and cat are all just fine hanging out and no one is trying to attack anyone and they are getting along just fine? Notice the eagle in the background on the lamp post down by the street. That is the partner to this eagle. They aren't always out to attack and kill each other. Our fox and eagles and cats basically get along just fine here. Sometimes if there is food they might fight over the food some.
Laughing Squid has a couple more wildlife videos from the same porch.
Messing with Mother Nature: The Macquarie Island Ecosystem
Macquarie Island, part of the Australian state of Tasmania, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The island lies in a spot where tectonic plates meet, about halfway between New Zealand and Antarctica, and has unique geological significance. Macquarie is a breeding ground for aquatic life, particularly elephant seals and royal penguins. It is also home to other seals and penguins, several species of albatross and other sea birds, plus a few dozen wildlife scientists and park rangers who work there on a temporary basis. The seals and penguins had no natural enemies on the island until Europeans arrived in 1810. Since then, humans have hatched schemes to either exploit or repair the Macquarie Island ecosystem. Most of these schemes caused further problems. Read about them in an article I wrote for mental_floss.
Top Signs You're At A Bad Motel
1. The "complimentary" paper tells you that President Kennedy has died.2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it.
3. The "magic fingers vibration" is supplied by giving a quarter to the town epileptic.
4. There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow
5. The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes.
6. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.
7. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.
8. The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you.
9. The Only TV station you can get is a porno channel with roseanne on it.
10. The wake up call comes courtesy of police helicopter.
Miss Cellania's Links
An index of recipes for restaurant dishes and grocery store products you can make at home -if you want to.
Dick Cheney, at age 71, received a heart transplant over the weekend. He broke no laws to get it, but being wealthy and famous didn't hurt.
7 Positive Effects of Your Horrible Lifestyle.
The BioShock feature film is nowhere, and may never be made, but fan films just get better and better. BioShock: New Year’s End by Jared Potter is a case in point.
Parents who stormed the field in previous years is the cited reason that the Colorado Springs Easter Egg Hunt is cancelled this year. Mom, Dad, this is why we can't have nice things.
If you're good at it, you can create music anywhere, anytime. Nicki Bluhm and the Gramblers perform a Hall and Oates cover while riding in a van.
Exploring the Glittering Crystal Caves of Mlynki. This cave system in the Ukraine sports gypsum crystals of various colors, all hidden underground.
Rodney Conradi and Lynse Rainford, both cancer patients, got married in a hospital just weeks before Rodney died. The 21-year-old kept saying the wedding was the best day of his life.
Bicycle Parkour is Extremely Difficult. I wonder how many bones Andrew Dickey broke learning to do this (vertigo warning).
When Billboards Go Rogue. Street artists or vandals (call them whichever you prefer) change the intended meaning of advertising in clever ways.
Catholic Hospital
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was
going to pay for his treatment. She asked if he had health insurance.
He replied, in a raspy voice, 'No health insurance.'
The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied. 'No money in the bank.'
The nun asked, 'Do you have a relative who could help you?'
He said, 'I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun.'
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, 'Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.'
The patient replied, "Send the bill to my brother-in-law!"
(Thanks, Duke!)
Monday, March 26, 2012
Les Chiens Savants
A 1902 film showing Miss Dundee and her Performing Dogs. They are well trained and have a knack for a bit of comedy as well. (via Everlasting Blort)
Light Stand
I've had those annoying droopy desk lamps. It's easier to just run some duck tape up to the ceiling. (via There, I Fixed It)
Set Me Free
The women of the AMC TV series Mad Men are remixed into the Supremes' song "You Keep Me Hangin' On." the chorus is cleverly edited from the show, and the rest gives us a glimpse of a woman's place in the mid-1960s. (via Laughing Squid)
Sexy Panda
Since this video was made, Chinese researchers have made much progress in producing baby pandas in captivity. But a few years ago, it was pretty much hit or miss. Boom chicka wow wow!
Copper Wire
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York Scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, A story in the LA Times read: “California archaeologists, finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers”.
One week later. A local newspaper in Tennessee reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Maryville, Tennessee, Wade and Bob Dudley, self-taught archaeologists, reported that they found absolutely nothing. They therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Tennessee had already gone wireless”.
(via Bits and Pieces)
Bloody Gloomy Bear Plush
Bloody Gloomy Bear Plush - $35.95
Attention Gloomy Bear fans. Behold the adorable Bloody Gloomy Bear Plush available at the NeatoShop. Now you can cuddle up with your favorite violent bear.
Grizzly bears are cute, but they can also be so naughty. Playing nice can be so hard for a little bear.
Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more Gloomy Bear items and Plush Toy fun!
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Remember, a portion of every NeatoShop item you buy through this website helps to support Miss Cellania.
Order your Miss Cellania T-shirt at the NeatoShop, too!
Cody The Howling Dog
The more he howls, the more I have to laugh! Someone described the sound as "Grandma being murdered down the hall."
Miss Cellania's Links
After years of preparation, filmmaker James Cameron has accomplished his goal of descending to Challenger Deep, the lowest known point on Earth, a depth of 35,756 feet into the Marianna Trench.
The Gallery of Default Anonymity.
A nine-year-old girl got a new wardrobe in her room. She also got the lion and the witch to go with it!
Only once did the U.S. government forcibly expel citizens based on their religion. Ulysses S. Grant spent the rest of his life making up for his actions.
Science Says Creativity And Dishonesty Go Hand In Hand. Are creatives people less moral, Less, inhibited, or are they just more talented in stretching the truth for their own benefit?
After being cooped up inside all winter, a herd of cows is turned out to the springtime pasture. They literally jump and dance with joy!
A 90-page novel Kurt Vonnegut wrote in the 1950s has been discovered and released as an Kindle selection. Basic Training is about a young man who wants to do the right thing but is confounded by his uncle's military training.
Pakistan's escalating 'honor killing' problem. Local authorities tend to sweep cases under the rug, so it's probably worse than we know.
The Bizarre History of White House Pets. Gators and hippos and possums, oh my!
Password
During a recent password audit at our company, it was found that a blonde receptionist was using the following password:"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital!
(Thanks, chicomathmom!)
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sashimi Tabernacle Choir
Geeks Are Sexy has an interview with the creator of The Sashimi Tabernacle Choir, a singing seafood delight!
Texan Richard Carter took a Volvo, 5 miles of wire, five 6-volt golf cart batteries, a screw drive mechanism using 12v DC reversible motor, a lifting frame he made from scratch, a Linux server and approximately two hundred synchronized singing fish, and created what can only be described as an awesomely effective assault on good taste.
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