The Ballad of Big Balls

Folk singer Jesse Wells croons about the news from this summer. It's quite poetic, and his pseudonyms for everyone are quite clever, although it might take you a second to figure out some of them. I thought the Nostradamus of Austin would be Greg Abbott, then I saw in the comments that it's supposed to be either Joe Rogan or Alex Jones. I didn't know where either of them were based. In another line, the caption says "we can still in the bed," but he's singing "we can still win the bet." The song is barely about Big Balls, but that was the catchiest term for a title.