Cell Phone

Every once in a while, I run into someone who is amazed that I don’t have a cellphone. The bottom line is, I don’t need one. I have a landline. I have a digital camera. I have an answering machine. Anyone who wants me can call me at home, or at work. If I’m anywhere besides those two places, then you can assume I am too busy to talk on the phone. Call me later.

Who am I kidding? No one calls me!

Someone asked, “But what if you were away from home and needed to contact your kids?” Thats an easy one, I would ask the person to my right if I could use their phone. They always have one. “But what if you were broken down on the side of the interstate?” Umm, this happened a couple months ago. I wished for just a minute that I could call someone. But who? I don’t anyone who would come out here AND can change my tire for me. The story ended OK, I changed the tire myself. In the dark. Remind me to put a flashlight in my car sometime! THAT I really need.


The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather
coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked"
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted
last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000.
They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand.
If it's really a pretty good price." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?...."

**************



The Goober Queen seems to have trouble with her man and his cell phone.

Can you believe it? A a cellphone powered by urine.

We don’t want to hear your cell phone conversation!


"Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected."
---Unknown

“Hang up up and drive.” --Unknown


THE GIFT

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited - she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.

The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband.

"Hi Hon," he says. "How do you like your new phone?"

She replies, "I just love it. It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. There's one thing I don't understand though."

"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.

"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"




THE BATHROOM

I was barely sitting down at the airport washroom, when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, “Hi, how are you?”

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, “Doin’ just fine!”

And the other person says, “So what are you up to?”

What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say: “Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. “Can I come over?”

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them “No........I’m a little busy right now!!!”

Then I hear the person say nervously, "Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps trying to talk to me.”

































































Thought for today: Guns don't kill people - Drivers with cellphones do!

humor cellphone video funny cellular wireless phone