High School Graduations in the South



Like football, high school graduation is a big deal in the South. The schools are enormous, the moms are crying, and the dads are bored out of their minds. Matt Mitchell lays it all out for us, including the once in a lifetime (for each kid) dinner at Red Lobster. Mitchell recorded this video on Monday, a fact he pinned in the comments, because Red Lobster outlets across the country closed suddenly on Wednesday. He says, "Life comes at you fast, but Chapter 11 bankruptcy comes faster."  

Although the video is about high school graduation, it hits home for me. I went to one of Auburn's graduation ceremonies last week (with 30,000 students, they have about a dozen commencements). I wore a suit, proper for spring in Kentucky, not realizing that Alabama is already at 90° in early May. All the other moms were in dresses and sandals. We went to Red Lobster, and had the whole place to ourselves. My kid had wanted to eat there for years, and got to eat two lobsters just days before it closed.


Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Body



If you know, you know. The time between a real event and the meme song is now down to less than 24 hours, thanks to artificial intelligence. KingWillonius was on this one instantly. If you don't know, this is about the cat fight in a House of representatives committee meeting Thursday night. Oh, this isn't the only song. Here's a remix of the actual soundtrack.


The Sweater

"The Sweater" by Meryn Cadell was a hit in Canada in 1992 and got a lot of play on college radio in the States. I somehow missed it because I was on country radio by then and going through some life changes. It's a great song, especially the punch line. (via Everlasting Blort

Highway to Hell (Ukrainian Folk version)



By the band Vopli Vidoplyasova. This video was recorded 14 years ago; I hope they are still with us today.

Tweet of the Day

(Thanks, WTM!)

Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours

Stevie Wonder had so many hits that you can always find one you haven't heard in a while and then remember how great it is. "Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours" was released in 1970. The video is from VEVO, so the TV show in this video is not identified. The backup singers are Shirley Matthews, Gloria Jones, Vanetta Fields, Syreeta Wright, Billie Barnum, and Clydie King. That awesome bass line was from Bob Babbitt.

True Facts About Pigeons



Ze Frank manages to keep focused on scientific facts about pigeons. He tells us about how surprisingly smart pigeons are, considering their tiny bird brains. A pigeon's behavior is not all that sophisticated, but within their world, they have super powers that take advantage of opportunities that ensure their survival. At least the pigeons we have today outlasted the passenger pigeon. This video has a one-minute skippable ad at 3:48.

Parents at Graduation



Charlie Berens re-enacts a ritual that happens every May, when students graduate from college. Mom wants to wallow in the pride of the moment, because the child she put so much effort into is taking the next big step in life. In this day and age, that means taking an obscene number of photographs. Dad is avoiding any sentimental emotions by handing out advice and judgement, as is his habit. Berens plays both parts, not bothering to shave when switching parts.  

Miss Cellania's Links

The Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant 2024. The 26 contestants are revealed from the least objectionable to the ugliest and least recognizable Muppet toys submitted by fans and voted for by readers. (via Metafilter)

How to get rid of a guy with a fart, as told in medieval style. (via Laughosaurus)

The Cube Rule of Food Identification. A hot dog is a sandwich, pop tarts are ravioli, and lasagna is cake.

King Charles' Official Portrait is Very Red. What does that remind you of? 

A GOP Texas school board member campaigned against schools indoctrinating kids. Then she read the curriculum. (via Metafilter)

The 7 Most Unhinged Commencement Speeches in Graduation History.

The University of Minnesota class of 1909 and the insults posted about them in the yearbook.

Batman's Mental Illness is Pinpointed. (via Geeks Are Sexy)

Detroit killed the sedan. We may all live to regret it. (via Metafilter)


Dances With Goats



You’ve seen dogs dance with humans in canine freestyle competitions, but have you ever seen a goat dance with a human like that? Or a chicken? These goats do, and more besides. They run agility courses, and have learned to, uh, help Marie take her clothes off.

Marie Verbouw trained her goats Roosje and Kato and the chicken Milca to do all kinds of incredible things. Wait until the dogs get a load of a goat in their agility competitions! (via reddit

The Heart Attack Grill



All new restaurants want a gimmick to get noticed while they build a clientele. One of the strangest gimmicks was the Heart Attack Grill, which debuted in 2005 and got all the publicity they could possibly ask for, even more when they expanded into Las Vegas in 2011. The decor and service had a theme alright, which seemed kind of cute. Diners wear hospital gowns and are treated as "patients." Morbidly obese people can eat free. But the oversized, fat-laden meals were no joke. Neither were the actual medical incidents connected with the restaurant. Founder Jon Basso embraced the controversy, and has seen his share of legal troubles. But the Heart Attack Grill is still going strong. Its customers? Maybe not so much.


Go, Dog, Go!



When you first look at Nimble, you instantly recognize a border collie, but she's so tiny! She is a mixed breed dog. The Westminster Kennel Club calls them "All American dogs," which sounds better than calling them mutts. In the 11 years since the Westminster Kennel Club has been staging their Masters Agility Championship, no mixed-breed has ever won the top prize -until Nimble became a star last weekend during the competition in New York. She blazed through the course in 28.76 seconds with no errors! Besides being the first mixed-breed champion, she is also the first dog from the 12-inch division to win the overall competition. She beat 350 other dogs to win the title.

Nimble is border collie-papillon mix, and she has obviously inherited the best features of the two breeds, the intelligence of the border collie plus the speed of the papillon. Of course, papillons can be intelligent and border collies can be fast, too. Besides, she's as cute as can be. Nimble's handler Cynthia Hornor assured everyone that the little dog got steak and playtime after her win. (via Laughing Squid)

A Look Back at The Phantom Menace



Now just wait a minute here. Why is Screen Junkies making an Honest Trailer for a movie that came out, uh, 25 years ago? Oh, I see. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace opened on May 16, 1999, which means today is its silver anniversary. That's why you've been seeing references to The Phantom Menace everywhere, and it may even be playing at a theater near you.

This movie heralded the second phase of Star Wars, now called "the prequels." Fans who saw the original Star Wars movie in 1977 as children had been waiting 16 years for another glimpse at a galaxy far, far away and had their hopes sky high for The Phantom Menace, but then were disappointed. At the same time, children who were introduced to that world in 1999 loved it. Twenty-five years later, those children run the world, and they have fond memories of The Phantom Menace. Do you realize the implications of this conundrum? In another 25 years, Star Wars fans across the internet will be lauding the nostalgic feel of The Rise of Skywalker. But for now, let's wallow in the memories of the annoying child prodigy Anakin Skywalker, endless discussion of trade agreements, midi-chlorians, and Jar Jar Binks.   

Miss Cellania's Links

The Real-Life Marine Biologist Who Helped Inspire Jaws.

Are Home Improvements Tax-Deductible? (It’s a Bigger Question Than You Might Think.)

Ahmed Best Gets the Last Laugh. Once the most hated man in Star Wars, the actor behind Jar Jar Binks reflects on his reputation in that galaxy far, far away.

User Inyerface is the most frustrating interface on the internet, but it's a game, so the challenge is to just get through it. (via Metafilter)

Why is Purple a Halloween Color?

Happy birthday, Clarence! (via Fark)

The Comedy Pet Photography Awards Finalists 2024. You can vote for your favorite for the People's Choice Award. (via Everlasting Blort)

The No-So-Secret Origin of Lucky Ducky! The latest from Tom the Dancing Bug.

Astronomers spot a giant planet that is as light as cotton candy. (via Real Clear Science)


Simon’s Cat Logic: Why Cats Love Boxes



Cats love boxes so very much, just ask Maru. Simon Tofield has four cats, so he knows that well. In this episode of Simon’s Cat Logic, Nicky Trevorrow from Cats Protection explains the allure of the simple cardboard box. This includes the Simon’s Cat cartoon called The Box. (via the A.V. Club)

Tweet of the Day

(Thanks, WTM!)

Celebrate Both Worlds



Bill McClintock gives us a feel-good mashup to celebrate warm weather and graduation and vacation season! Van Halen's "Best of Both Worlds" goes perfectly well with "Celebration" by Kool & the Gang. Even if you're listening in a bathtub, you gotta dance to this.


A Very Large Cat



Axel is a real chonker. An absolute unit. He was surrendered to a shelter at 43 pounds! For context, I have three cats that weigh around eight pounds each, and the big orange cat weighs 13 pounds. Axel was definitely overfed at his previous home. The rescue organization Ferdinand and Friends placed him with their director Christina for fostering, and she was worried about all that extra weigh the cat carried. He had trouble hauling himself around, and he suffered from arthritis due to the extra stress on his bones. But Axel is well on his way to a healthy weight. You can follow his weight loss journey at Instagram and TikTok, where he goes by his stage name Biggie Smalls.

Singers Falling Down Stairs



Someone call a carpenter, because there is obviously something wrong with the stairs leading off the stage! When someone falls down the stairs in real life, there is banging and screaming, often resulting in injuries, and there's nothing funny about it. When singers with distinctive and iconic voices fall down the stairs, everyone knows who they are. Master mixer Dustin Ballard, better known as There I Ruined It, shows us what that might sound like. He assures us that no singers were hurt in the making of this nonsense. Each fall is mercifully short, but still paints a picture in our minds. You almost feel sorry for the singer, fictional as this scenario is.

Water Balloons on a Trampoline



Mark Rober decided it would be cool to add water balloons to a trampoline. It was! He and his nephews jumped along with hundreds of small water balloons, which looks really cool in slow motion. Notice that a body will depress the trampoline surface while the balloons stay at the same level. There’s also a couple of really big water balloons that proved to be super-tough. But even a super-tough balloon can only take so much! (via Viral Viral Videos)

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On Pet Names



When a partner calls you by a pet name, they are either trying to be exclusive and intimate, or else they can't recall what your name is. You know which one it is. People use odd terms of endearment in all languages all over the world. The variety of pet names is huge, and the most common have to do with sweet foods. That makes sense, because it's what people like and crave. There are also pet names that imply smallness or cuteness, or even monetary value. People also have pet names that make no sense at all to outsiders because they are based on a shared experience from long ago.  

Linguist Erica Brozovsky goes over the universality of pet names, the different kinds that have proved to be popular, and why we use them. The upshot is that my pet names for my loved ones is adorable and sweet, while your pet names for your loved ones are cringey. (via Laughing Squid)

Fighting with Pedro



The reason they call it fight choreography is because it's like a dance. And because it's like a dance, each cinematic fight has its own rhythm. However, enough of these fight scenes you remember from your favorite movies have the same rhythm, and here they are all fighting to the tune of "Pedro" by Raffaella Carrà (Jaxomy & Agatino Romero Remix). While this multifandom movie montage is pretty short, it contains multitudes. (via Geeks Are Sexy)

Dinner Party Revenge



It's a shame people don't throw dinner parties much anymore, but this may be the reason the custom has fallen by the wayside. This guy has a diabolical plan to cause minor annoyances for his host for years to come! Plot twist: he shouldn't have bothered going to the trouble, because these things all occur naturally. I haven't thrown any dinner parties for years and I am still vexed by mysterious objects that appear in the most obscure places. But if it makes him feel better about putting up with his nemesis at work, then more power to him. It's another nonsensical yet amusing anecdote from Chris Hallbeck.  In the comments, we got a bonus real-life story about long-term revenge that you can read at Laughosaurus.

Miss Cellania's Links

Public Domain Book Covers That Completely Miss the Point.

What’s in a VIN? How to decode the vehicle identification number, your car’s unique fingerprint.

Last hours of an organ donor. In the liminal time when the brain is dead but organs are kept alive, there is an urgent tenderness to medical care. (via Nag on the Lake)

The Lowest Possible Score in Super Mario Bros.

Why the Westminster Dog Show Made Me Appreciate Mutts. (via Fark)

From toxic fungus to soy sauce superstar. Today the koji mold is a master fermenter, but it has a checkered past. (via Strange Company

Scout Badges for the Middle-Aged. (via Nag on the Lake)

This guy spent five weeks in a hospital and lost so much weight his dog didn't recognize him. (via TYWKIWDBI)

Artist of the Week: A Janitor’s Mysterious Masterpiece.

The Ronnie Horror Picture Show



The TV show Friday’s presented a mashup just after the presidential election of 1980 that used The Rocky Horror Picture Show as a platform for mocking the new Reagan administration. Here’s part two.



Read the history behind the skit at Dangerous Minds. (via Perfect for Roquefort Cheese)

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Right-to-Die Legal Cases That Raised More Questions Than Answers



Does a person have the right to end their own life when it is full of pain and incurable suffering? How about someone else's life? Modern medical miracles sometimes come with a horrific cost. We may be able to save lives that were once doomed, but if it leaves the patient with severe brain damage, in a coma, or in a vegetative state, what have we gained? We've gained some deep ethical and philosophical questions, like what is the minimum standard of a life worth living? In the case of Terri Schiavo, which you may recall from the turn of the century, a 26-year-old woman was left severely brain-damaged and in a vegetative state after a heart attack. Years later, her husband proposed removing her feeding tube, the only artificial life support technology Schiavo required. Her parents objected on the grounds that you don't stop feeding someone because they are disabled. The case dragged on for years, and eventually led to reviews of the laws around life support and death with dignity.

The ethical questions remain, though. You may believe it is okay to refuse life support or life-saving interventions, but not active euthanasia. But what if the patient is unable to express their wishes? What if the patient with a terminal illness or profound disabilities or untreatable pain really wants to end their life but needs assistance to carry out that wish? As medical science continues to extend life beyond our ability to enjoy it, these questions will only get more difficult.

Strumpfhosentanz



I just recently found out that this video I first posted in 2013 became the biggest post in the history of this blog, with more than 218,000 views. I had no idea. Blogger has a stats page, but I never really explored it, and didn't know they kept up with such things for all these years. Those stats don't account for those several years I used Squarespace, but there's no trace of this blog left there now. Considering the average post these days gets about 100 views, that was pretty good.

Elizabethan Ruffs



We look back at fashions of the past and wonder what they were thinking. A little research and some common sense tell us that high heels were developed to hold one's feet in the stirrups while riding a horse, but became a permanent fashion for women because they made them flex their leg and butt muscles attractively. The codpiece started out for reasons of modesty, but became popular as a way of showing off. But what was up with the ruffled collars of the Elizabethan era? They only look natural on Bozo the Clown. They served no practical use, and they certainly weren't comfortable. Weird History goes over the real purpose of ruffs, plus how the fashion changed to become more elaborately ridiculous over time, spread across the world, and eventually died out -except for clowns.  

Miss Cellania's Links

Why are Some Quarters Painted Red?

The Difference Between a Castle and a Palace. And the many exceptions to these definitions. (via Strange Company)

On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor. (via Kottke

The Child-Eating Wampus Cat Prowling the American South.

A Look at the Recent Walpurgis Festivities.

Disneyland’s Scariest Ride Began as a Tribute to Mel Brooks.

Met Gala fashions and their corresponding fungi. (via Neatorama)

Your Kitchen Needs a First Aid Kit. We asked chefs how they stay safe in the kitchen, and what to do — and not to do — in case of emergencies.

7 second Elephant Fart. With delightful comments. (via a comment at Metafilter)



My First Time Camping



People who never went camping with their parents are at a disadvantage when they try it on their own, or with other people who’ve never done it before. You don’t know what to expect, or what to take (hint: mosquito repellent), or what to do. These folks are even lucky that they knew where to go! Nevertheless, they will consider it a success if the pictures look good on Instagram. Later, they will realize that the memories of all those screwups will make great stories for the rest of their lives. And they’ll take their kids camping so the next generation will be better prepared. (via Tastefully Offensive)

The Best Cicada Video You Will Ever See



Cicadas are in the news now, because two different broods are synching up to invade from underground. The Forest Preserve District of DuPage County (Illinois) made an educational video about the life cycle of the 17-ear cicada. You might think that would be boring, but the bug's activities are acted out by human staff members, so it's way funnier than it has to be. (via Laughing Squid)

Mother's Day ROAR



In which women find they are a lot stronger than they ever thought they could be. (via Nag on the Lake)

Mother's Day at SNL



Honestly, when I scheduled the nine-year-old Mother's Day monologue from SNL for the middle of the night, I had no idea that Saturday Night Live would do the same thing again this year for the opening scene. But they did and it's glorious.

Mother’s Day Apologies



The cast of Saturday Night Live had some apologies to pass along to their mothers for various transgressions over the years. Moms are not surprised. This aired a few years ago, but it's still funny.

Tweet of the Day

Singing About Love



Romanian singer Maria Coman has a lovely voice and knows how to use it. The song is from 1 Corinthians 13:1-8. (via Kottke)

Lily’s Surprise

Don has a couple of problems: his memory is poor, and his handwriting looks like a second-grader’s.

Lily is a smart kid, but her execution needs a little work. For one thing, it helps to find out what Mom’s name is and remember it. Her parents explained that Lily was promised a surprise if she stayed quiet enough for her mother to take a nap. The surprise was Reece’s sticks, so there’s no spoilers to keep from her anymore.

In the discussion at reddit, people told stories from their own childhoods, like the kid who forged a note from God, the woman who knew her Dad’s name but not his age, and the one who wrote a threatening letter to the Tooth Fairy.

Star Wars Without Dialogue Shouldn't Work This Well



The 1977 movie Star Wars (now known as Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope) was a masterpiece in how it drew you in and made the viewer a part of the action. Part of that was because of the way it was designed to be driven by action instead of dialogue. Sure, it had dialogue, some of it quite memorable, and some of it amusingly bad. Almost 50 years later, we can watch the movie and pay no attention at all to what the characters are saying -but we can't watch it with the sound off because the music is so important. CinemaStix explains how that happened in this mini-documentary with commentary from George Lucas and John Williams. Still, this masterpiece had to be heavily edited to make it watchable. The essay the narrator refers to is How Star Wars was Saved in the Edit. In the end, it all came together to charm and excite a generation that still can't let go of the Star Wars universe.

The Most Viral Graduation Ceremony of 2024



Thursday night was commencement for the Thomas Jefferson University School of Nursing in Philadelphia. Each student's name was announced as they received their diploma, and the captions soon followed. This quickly became a game for the viewer to try and guess what the name really was from the announcer's pronunciation of common names like Stephanie and Elizabeth. The real kicker was the name Thomas, considering the name of the university.

The announcer was using cards with the phonetic spelling of the names, which should have included the normal spelling but apparently did not. After the first three rows of students, her cards were replaced with a list of names, and all went well after that. The university has issued an apology, but the viral moment will live on forever. (via reddit)  

Robot Chicken’s Breaking Bad Rap



You’ve seen a million parodies, remixes, and raps about Breaking Bad, but this one is from Robot Chicken. That means it will take a weird left turn almost immediately. Let’s just say this is a great video to watch the first thing in the morning. (via Geeks Are Sexy)

Was Amelia Earhart Eaten by Giant Crabs?



Pilot Amelia Earhart was attempting to fly around the world in 1937 when her plane disappeared, shortly after leaving Howland Island in the Pacific, and neither she nor navigator Fred Noonan was ever found. What happened to Earhart? There has been plenty of speculation and theories proposed over the past 87 years, but one of the strangest was that she was eaten by giant crabs. There are giant crabs in the South Pacific, as we will see in this video from IFLScience. (via Strange Company)

Steakhouse



This is what can happen when you live on the internet. Not just that an internet outage will destroy your whole day, but how this guy got into the shape he's in. He's apparently been researching internet conspiracy theories, down the rabbit hole into a world of paranoia and altered perception. Okay, an internet outage requires a call to the service provider, miraculously resulting in a service call, which is suspicious enough in this day and age. But you get the feeling that this may be the first actual live person he's talked to in weeks. It's probably been that long since he took a shower or walked outside. This guy has his problems, and the further we go into the scene, the worse those problem prove to be. Don't let this happen to you!

Steakhouse
, directed by Ft. Langley, is described as a "sci-fi comedy," although I would classify it as a short horror film. (via Nag on the Lake)

What If All the Lightning on Earth Struck the Same Place at Once?



Randall Munroe spends an awful lot of time and brain power answering theoretical questions in his What If? series. One question is "If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?" The answer is Australia, not because it's the largest (it is 6th), but because it's the largest in the Southern Hemisphere, which tends to point more to the center of the Milky Way. 

In the video above, the question is "If all the lightning strikes happening in the world on any given day all happened in the same place at once, what would happen to that place?" To understand the implications, we must first learn a few things about lightning, which is well worth the time it takes for Munroe to get to the actual question in this video. Spoiler alert: if it happened, it would look awesome. From a distance.  

Miss Cellania's Links

25 of History’s Greatest Moms

Civil War Tails Tells the Story with Cats. (Thanks, William!)

Hertz Charges Tesla Model 3 Renter $277 Fee for Gas, Won’t Back Down. (via Fark)

Salvador Dalí talks about his iconic, 'very aggressive' moustache. (via Damn Interesting)

States With Abortion Bans See Continued Decrease in U.S. MD Senior Residency Applicants. (via Boing Boing)

Navy Tradition: Baptizing Babies in the Ship's Bell.

Proms are getting a little out of hand. 

5 Wild Ideas Rejected by the Constitutional Convention.

A Blast from the Past (2016): The Worst Industrial Disaster in U.S. History.

The Limits of Humanity



How far can we go? If humans were to develop technologies way beyond what we have now, there are still limits on how far we can travel, which is just a tiny fraction of the size of the universe. A very tiny fraction. Add to that the rate at which the universe is expanding, and you can see how it will always exceed our range. Kurzgesagt explains some things about the universe that limit the way we use time and distance, which is all a bit much to absorb, but the accompanying graphics help, and are cute as can be. (via reddit)

Tweet of the Day

Thursday, May 09, 2024

Miso's Elevator



Kai lives on the second floor in Munich, but his cat Miso likes to go in and out. So he rigged up a private cat elevator for his feline's convenience. I get that Kai is renting an apartment, but if he owned the building, he could rig up a cat ladder like they do in Bern. (via Laughing Squid)

The Two Doors



The problem with logic puzzles is that there are too many details to remember. If you really want to solve one, you should have a pen and paper handy. Or you could handle it the way Chris Hallbeck does with his simple but relatable characters.

Resurfacing a Road Without Diverting Traffic



Tuesday I drove through Atlanta as the construction season is starting to ramp up, so I am very impressed with this pavement replacement project in Switzerland. They simply erect a bridge over a section of the road so that cars can drive right across while work is going on underneath! The crew carves up the old pavement, repairs and prepares the sub-pavement, lays new asphalt, steamrolls it smooth, and cleans up the mess. Here's another video from the Swiss Federal Roads Office showing how the ASTRA Bridge is erected.



So they close lanes to put the bridge up, but even so, it is a minimal closure compared to the weeks or even months that lanes are closed in the US while miles of highway are repaved at a time. (via Boing Boing)

Miss Cellania's Links

Tyrian Purple: Where It Came From, and Where It Ended Up.

The 19th-Century ‘Strawberry Parties’ That Raised Money and Spirits Each Spring. 

General Weyler and the New York City Army Cats at 39 Whitehall Street. (via Strange Company)

How To Tell If A Conspiracy Theory Is Probably False. (via Damn Interesting)

Yes, You Can Train Your Cat to Use the Toilet — But Experts Warn of These Potential Consequences.

When Were Blue Jeans Invented? These Paintings Suggest the Fashion Trend Dates Back to the 1600s.

The Power of Imagination! The latest from Tom the Dancing Bug.

So, What Do You Think of Hades II?

The Genius Ingredient for Perfect Gooey Cheese Sauce. It's Alka-Seltzer.


Corn Drill in Slow Motion



Remember the guy eating ketchup-covered corn mentioned in this post? Gav and Dan, the Slow-Mo Guys, decided that warranted a closer look. So they recreated the stunt in slow motion. It’s pretty messy. It’s a good thing they did this outside. You can see that it actually took him some time to get his teeth into it. And we learned the importance of getting the cob absolutely straight on the drill bit. Still, don’t try this at home -especially if you have long hair! (via Uproxx)

Tweet of the Day

This was in Portage, Michigan, Tuesday night. (Thanks, WTM!)