On the way home, she stops at the pharmacy and finds some hair remover. She takes it to the pharmacy counter to check out and the pharmacist tells her, "If you use this on your legs, don't wear stockings for a week."
She tells him "It's not for my legs."
The pharmacist replies, "Then if you use it on your underarms, wear sleeveless blouses for a week."
She says "It's not for my underarms, it's for my Schnauzer."
"Oh, okay," he replies, "In that case, I recommend you don't ride your bike for a week."
(Thanks, Bruce!)
A guy takes his wiener dog to the vet..
ReplyDeleteIn the 1990s I published a local countywide newspaper (Mendocino County, CA) called /Memo/, and every once in awhile I'd put an issue out with a complete redesign of the front page and themes within to match --new name of paper, new slogan, everything. One face was /Ilk Magazine/ "For those of your ilk." One was the /Herald Times-Schnauzer/. The mascot for the paper was already The Cute Little Dog, a cartoon schnauzer similar to your photo. He had adventures, like Tintin's Snowy, and even also went to the moon once. Another less popular but cool mascot was Black Leather Teddy, a clip-art teddy bear wearing aviator shades and an actual black leather teddy; Black Leather Teddy might have been his name, but it was the clothing item that was the mascot.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever win the lottery or inherit vast sums of money, one of the things I'll do is start a doomed but phenomenal real-life big-city old-fashioned full-size newspaper called /The Herald Times-Schnauzer/. A few weeks ago I was in the gas station in Cloverdale and I saw a copy of the once-mighty San Francisco Chronicle, now a shadow of its former self, for three dollars!, where it used to be a dime, then twenty cents, then a quarter, when just its classified ads section, or its Metro section, or its editorial section (and comics) was bigger than the whole paper now. So sad.