Zoo

Part of the goal of our summer vacation was to visit the National Zoo in Washington and see the baby panda Tai Shan, also known as Butterstick. We saw him, but he may as well have been a plush toy from the gift shop they way he curled up and slept through the hot part of the day. His mama Mei Xiang was exactly the same (must be genetic). The problem was that in Washington in August, the hot part of the day is 24 hours long. But the elephants were amazing! They knew how to beat the heat by spraying themselves and everyone within reach with showers of water. The water wasn't particularly cool, but it was a great show. You know its hot when the greatest thrill the kids got from the excursion was the lemonade. Luckily, the other Smithsonian Institution attractions were inside with air conditioning.

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Animals that are Better than You (via Arbroath)

Beast Blender lets you design your own animal, using parts of existing animals. Virtually, of course.
Up Butt Coconut. Made me laugh! (via Everlasting Blort)
The latest innovation in zookeeping is a cat toy designed for the big cats. The Liondrover is designed to give lions a taste of the hunting experience they would have in the wild.
iMockery has a compendium of strange animals in their Wildlife Treasury. This illustration is from the entry for the Galleyworm.
Pavarotti loves elephants! (via Mental Floss)
Elephant Encyclopedia. (via Ursi’s Blog)
Useless Advice from Useless Men: Man vs. Crocodile. Who will win?
 Kids will love Bembo's Zoo! Click on a letter to see an animal rendered from the letters of its name. (via Neatorama)

GORILLA CAGE

(Thanks, Eva!)
A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he
grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and he gorilla got even  more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. "Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now. Tell him you have a headache."

THE ZEBRA'S RETIREMENT

There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm.
The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited, "Hi! I'm a zebra. What are you?"
"I'm a cow," said the cow.
"Right, right, what do you do?"
"I make milk for the farmer."
"Cool."
The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it. "Hi, I'm a zebra. What are you?"
"I'm a chicken," said the chicken.
"Oh, right, what do you do?"
"I make eggs for the farmer."
"Right, great, see ya round."
Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes. She ran over to it and said, "Hi, I'm a zebra. What are you?"
"I am a Stallion," said the stallion.
"Wow," said the zebra. "What do you do?"
"Take off your pajamas, darling, and I'll show you."
Dancing Animals (via Arbroath)


Thought for today: If you're hanging around with nothing to do and the zoo is closed, come over to the Senate. You'll get the same kind of feeling and you won't have to pay. -Bob Dole

humor jokes video funny games zoo animals wildlife zebra gorilla