Gas Pains

It occurred to me the other day that back when I first started driving, I could earn enough to fill my tank by working one hour at my minimum-wage job. Now I make way more than minimum wage (which has also risen), and it takes me about five hours of work to fill my gas tank. Granted, I have a bigger gas tank now in the Mamamobile, but that because I’m supporting a family. I also figured I am driving a LOT less now than when I was a teenager running the roads just to see where they went. Now I’m going to get all sentimotional about those days... (sniff) Excuse me, I’m feeling somewhat verklempt. Take a moment and read these jokes, and I’ll try to pull myself together.

Find the cheapest gas prices in your city. If you don’t live in a city, that's too bad!

If that doesn’t work, try this one. (Thanks, Beth!)

Is it worth the extra gas to drive across town for lower gas prices? Calculate it here.

Watch the video I Can’t Afford My Gasoline. (Thanks Linda!)

Prayer rally for lower gas prices.

Golden Lucy on gas prices.

25 ways to save money at the gas pump.

"Republicans in Congress are demanding that President Bush investigate whether oil companies are now gouging consumers on these gas prices. That's a good idea, Republicans asking Republicans to investigate other Republicans. And you know who they're going to blame? The Democrats." --Jay Leno

"Gas prices continue to rise. At the gas station near my house they have a slot for your credit card and one right next to it for your 401K." --Jay Leno

Gas Prices vs ?

People have been complaining about the rising price of gasoline recently, but I have always thought that gas was a good value (especially if you were to take the $0.30, $0.40 per gallon tax off at the pump)! Obviously others need a little convincing. So the article in this week's "Autoweek" magazine brought it all to light. What if you were to buy a gallon of . . .

1. - Diet Snapple 16 oz for $1.29 = $10.32 per gallon

2. - Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz for $1.19 = $9.52 per gallon

3. - Gatorade 20 oz for $1.59 = $10.17 per gallon

4. - Ocean Spray 16 oz for $1.25 = $10.00 per gallon

5. - Quart of Milk 16 oz for $1.59 = $6.32 per gallon

6. - Evian (water) 9 oz for $1.49 = $21.19 per gallon

7. - STP Brake Fluid 12 oz for $3.15 = $33.60 per gallon

8. - Vicks Nyquil 6 oz for $8.35 = $178.13 per gallon

9. - Pepto Bismol 4 oz for $3.85 = $123.20 per gallon

10. - Whiteout 7 oz for $1.39 = $254.17 per gallon

11. - Scope 1.5 oz for $0.99 = $84.84 per gallon

So next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on Nyquil or Scope or Whiteout!


OIL SHORTAGE (Thanks, Ken!)

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America.

Well, there's a very simple answer.

Nobody bothered to check the oil.

We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in Alaska, California, Oklahoma, and Texas.


Our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington DC!


The Petroleum Institute's Top 10 Reasons for the increase in gasoline prices:

10. Hussein threatened to invade Houston if we didn't raise prices.
9. We're doing our part to reduce global warming.
8. Demand is increasing, or decreasing, something like that.
7. We were hoping you wouldn't notice.
6. The consultant we hired to do this list is gouging us.
5. We're going to raise enough money to bail out the S&L's.
4. It's not a price increase, it's a user fee.
3. We want to see if gas pumps can count that fast.
2. There was a big oil spill in Alask... no, that was last time.
1. There was a sudden surge in demand for fuel to fly Dan Rather all over the Middle East.

by Greg Scott, with contributions from Mike Hildreth, Michael Yurko, and Robert Taft.





















Thought for today: Public transportation is so shocking to the individual that it should only be done in private.


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