9 Periodic Table Parodies

It's been almost two years since I've done a roundup of periodic tables (and six years since I posted the first one). Oh, you know the periodic table of elements; you may have even studied it. But these are different. Creative minds use the basic template to classify all sorts of things that aren't elements, and the ones that do contain real elements have a twist. See nine (actually eleven) of them in a list I posted at mental_floss.



I see that according to my account page, I have been a member of the mental_floss staff for six years as of today.

Paperman

The Disney animated short Paperman is up for an Oscar this year. The technique used to produce it is a combination of hand-drawn art and computer animation, giving it the feel of a classic Disney film. Read more about the technique at Wired. 

Miss Cellania's Links

The Groundhog Oscillation: Evidence of Global Change.

At Randall Munroe's What If? blog, we find out what would happen to a typical airplane if it were flown on other planets and the larger moons in the solar system.

From Bomb Victim to Public Garden. Just beautiful.

Check out this restaurant receipt. (via Fark) More on the situation here.

Meet Dug, the giant metal lawn dinosaur of Redwood City, California. Dug dresses up for every holiday in various custom-made costumes.

Baby Musk Oxen Are Surprisingly Adorable. One youngster, er, calf, was nice enough to pose for plenty of pictures to prove it.

10 Incredible Historic Flying Cars. They keep inventing these things, but we still don't use them every day like The Jetsons led us to believe we would.

The Secrets to Not Being a Terrible Writer. Actually, none of these things would be a "secret" if you'd paid attention in English class.

Great Moments in Animal Sports. Because no one dunks, blocks, or passes as well as a golden retriever -at least in the movies.

6 super-dedicated employees. Should we feel sorry for these folks who work so hard, or angry that they make the rest of us look bad?

Hostage

(via Criggo)

August Sings Carmen

This delightful performance of "Habanera" descends into fantasy territory pretty fast. May be NSFW due to kinky imagery. (via Metafilter)

Mordor

(via Pleated Jeans)

In the Winter

From Married to the Sea.

Call Me Maybe on Bottles

 

Recorded on the streets of Ferrara, Italy by The Bottle Boys, a band out of Copenhagen. (via Tastefully Offensive)

Miss Cellania's Links

Kalashnikov Pat & the Helicopter Jailbreaks.

Let's discuss this $55,000 hospital bill. It's inflated to account for the discount the insurance company demands, but an uninsured patient would be liable for the whole thing.

46 Reasons My Three Year Old Might be Freaking Out. (via Metafilter)

North Korea is finally on Google Maps. Read about four points of interest, including a prison camp believed to hold 10,000 people.

The Definitive Guide To Awards Show Speeches. Since the same people keep winning over and over, we can know what they'll say ahead of time.

In 1936, Karp Lykov, a Russian member of the Old Believers sect, escaped Soviet religious persecution by moving his family deep into the Siberia's taiga. They settled in a spot 150 miles from the nearest village and lived alone, cut off from the outside world until 1978.

On a related note, here are 10 Movies That Make Writing Look Incredibly Dangerous. Especially to your mental health.

China is crazy about the 1990s TV sitcom Friends. So much so that a Chinese version is in the works called Planet Homebuddies.

Sea Foam

Flooding on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia, over the weekend left a thick layer of sea foam behind. Beware of what looks like a "wave" in the foam! Luckily, it appears no one was hurt in this particular incident. (via Daily Picks and Flicks)

Awkward Sentence

(via Criggo)

12 Football-shaped Foods for Your Super Bowl Party

Traditions have grown up around the annual Super Bowl football game, such as the halftime show scandal, the ad critiques, and of course, the food. The game itself begins in the evening, after hours of pre-game discussion, and parties often go all day long. News stories about a chicken wing shortage just before Super Bowl Sunday have some party hosts nervous. The supply is only 1% short of what was consumed last year, so there will be wings, although they will cost more. But chicken wings aren't the only staple of Super Bowl parties -there's always chili, hot dogs, pizza, nachos, and, of course, the other parts of those chickens. The only critical things to remember about Super Bowl party food are to make sure its delicious, and make sure there is plenty of it. On the other hand, this weekend is an opportunity to have fun and show off your artistic side -which is why there are so many recipes for snacks shaped like footballs that you can add to the menu. Here's a dozen in a list I posted at mental_floss.    

Miss Cellania's Links

The Story of Happy Days.

Famous Monsters Of Filmland: vintage covers.

A Dream Deferred: How access to STEM is denied to many students before they get in the door good. (via Ed Yong)

Win a Personalized Robot Portrait!

The 10 Tallest People in History. (via the Presurfer)

Enjoy pictures of 101 Cats Snuggling With Stuffed Animals. There, that's the way to start your day with a smile!

10 Of Today’s Best Television Showrunners And Their Embarrassing Early Writing Gigs. By the way, a "showrunner" is what we used to call a "producer."

A Bad Lip Reading of Beyonce's performance of the national anthem at the inauguration doesn't tell us whether it was lip-synched or not. However, this nonsense version got a standing ovation just the same.

Movie 43 is a star-studded film that pushes the boundaries of comedy, but failed miserably at the box office. It's about coming up with movie ideas, which were all really bad ideas.

Stockholm has turned its 90 subway stations into works of art. Over 150 artists have contributed their skills to the system over the past 50 years.

DWI

(via Criggo)

Groucho Marx Roasts Johnny Carson

A Friar's Club roast from 1968. (via Dangerous Minds)

How To Draw A Groundhog

With Groundhog Day coming up Saturday, sticking little hand-drawn groundhogs on your notes will make someone smile. Mark Anderson of Andertoons makes it easy for you with step-by-step instructions in his latest tutorial. Or just follow this animation!

The Creepy Sock

Why does Hollywood continue to spend millions of dollars to produce films full of suspense and special effects to lead you to a horrific payoff when videographers like Ignoramusky does all that in 45 seconds with a cat and and some music mixing software? The payoff will leave you laughing instead of crawling under the bed in this one. (via Buzzfeed)

Listening to Music

From Drew at Toothpaste for Dinner.

Return of the Sun

An Inuit fisherman and his family in northern Greenland are well aware of how the Arctic ice is changing. Glen Milner's short film Return of the Sun has been nominated for several film festival awards. To really enjoy the beautiful photography, you should see this in full-screen mode. (via the Presurfer)

Miss Cellania's Links

10 Jobs You Didn't Hear About On Career Day.

It wasn't easy to get a stalker arrested in 1999. Updates on this terrifying story are in links at Metafilter.

The 10 Craziest Drummers Ever.

Morals, Mammaries, and Medicine. How the stethoscope was invented.

Americans are so dependent on cars compared with the rest of the world that parking meters are often seen (or remembered) as an annoyance -and good riddance when they go! But the more you know about them, the more interesting the story is. 

The Best Fictional Libraries in Pop Culture. You can read about these libraries in a library book while sitting in a library.

The Internet Reacts to J.J. Abrams Directing the Next Star Wars Film. Or, let's see how many lens flare jokes can be squeezed into one meme.

15 Of The Funniest Sitcom Alter-Egos. An actor can stretch and go crazy when it's not his main character at stake.

Newark Mayor Cory Booker saved a dog from the freezing cold this past week. But that's just the latest of a list of the mayor's humble or heroic acts.

"Based on a true story" doesn't tell you how much of a movie is factual. Here's how three Oscar-nominated films were embellished for dramatic appeal.

January 28, 2013 - 5:05am

A Pep Talk from Kid President to You

Soul Pancake has a video series featuring the delightful character Kid President. He has a pep talk to encourage you to become less boring and more awesome ("You're gooder than that."). Robert Frost may have taken the road less traveled, but this kid will take the one that leads to awesome! (via Viral Viral Videos)

Miss Cellania'

Free Dog

(via Criggo)

Take a Chance on Me

Have you ever been to an animal shelter? Come take a tour! Mind you, the Wake County SCPA in Raleigh, North Carolina appears to be the Cadillac of animal shelters, and your local shelter probably won't greet you with a song, but you may find a new companion to fall in love with.  (via Daily Picks and Flicks)

Scuba-diving Cat and Dog

I posted this about five years ago. Still strange!

Now What?

(via reddit)

That's Useful

(via Criggo)

True Facts About The Tarsier

Ze Frank is back with another of his "True Facts" videos, this one about the tarsier, which I have apparently been mispronouncing. As in previous videos in the series, the facts take a backseat to the pictures of the critters, to which Ze reacts the same way you do. (via Viral Viral Videos)

Shoveling It

From Married to the Sea.

Shetland Ponies in Shetland Cardigans

Scotland's latest tourism ad series features Shetland ponies wearing handmade cardigans of pure Shetland wool. If that isn't the cutest thing you've ever seen! The ponies are named Fivla and Vitamin. See more pictures at Visit Scotland. (via Laughing Squid)

Cassetteboy Rewrites Obama's Inauguration Speech

Cassetteboy's editing skills go the distance with President Obama's speech -but given the strict oratorical cadence required to talk historically outdoors to a big crowd, with each word weighed accordingly, it works no matter what order you put them in. (via b3ta)

Lazy Sportswriter

(via Criggo)

Privilege

I feel privileged. And old. (via reddit)

Miss Cellania's Links

A red panda named Chewbacca has arrived at the Denver Zoo to mate with its female red panda, Daisy. Which is a fine excuse for an album of cute red panda photographs.

Everything Was Fake but Her Wealth.

A French church named Chapelle de Bathléem was remodeled in the 1990s. Now its stone gargoyles are recognizable science fiction movie characters!

The 35 Dumbest Things Ever Said On The Internet. Sure, some are intentional, but you'll start to feel your own brain cells dying as you go along.

Barbados with its sugar plantations was England's first slave colony. A new book details how the hierarchical system developed on the island spread through the Southern States and set a course of American history.

Watch the first clip of Ashton Kutcher playing Steve Jobs, in which he seems to do all right. What's really notable is how the movie appears to get Steve Wozniak all wrong.

Shetland Ponies in Shetland Cardigans. 

Pet Me!

Like this! (via reddit)

Pool Party

Red Paper Heart, an art studio working in interactivity and animation, was asked to make a pool "interactive" for a party. Since the surface of water is not an easy medium easy to project upon (especially when people are swimming in it), they poured in 65,000 ping pong balls to float on the surface and reflect the projected light! The balls are fairly easy to swim through, and even when moving provided a stable projection surface. You can see a series of photographs of the project at their website. (via mental_floss)

Premature

(via Criggo)

Conspiracy Theory Rock

A parody of Schoolhouse Rock, this 1998 SNL segment by Robert Smigel was removed from all reruns. (via Everlasting Blort)

Canada Lynx: The Ghost Cat of the North

Of the four existing species in the genus Lynx, two live in North America. One is the bobcat, the other is its furry northern cousin, the Canada lynx (Lynx canadensis). The Canada lynx ranges across Canada and Alaska, with smaller populations extending into Montana, Maine, and several other states. Although the Canada lynx is usually larger than a bobcat, their ranges overlap and they sometimes interbreed. They also overlap with mountain lions, but a mountain lion will kill a lynx. Read more about the Canada lynx in an article I wrote for mental_floss.

Photo credit: Flickr user Keith Williams.

Welcome to Mars

(via Mostly Forbidden Zone)

Provenance

From Married to the Sea.

Pac-Man vs. Mario

Russians having fun with video game characters. (via Tastefully Offensive)

Miss Cellania's Links

Postal Experiments. How far can you go in mailing stuff out-of-the-box?

How Google became such a great place to work.

Everything You Think You Know About Health Care Spending Is Wrong. The U.S. government already spends more on health care per capita than Canada -and Canada covers ALL its citizens.

The geekiest Star Trek roleplaying ad ever on Craigslist went viral for including every possible trekkie stereotype. Yeah, it was a fake comedy ad, but the guy knew what he was talking about.

Can I Have a Pet Fox?

Extra terror, hold the gore: 8 truly scary PG-13 horror movies. These few gems may raise your kids' standards above the many less subtle horror flicks. 

How to turn boiling hot water into snow instantly. First, you go to Montreal …or take a shortcut and just watch the video.

Defense secretary Leon Panetta announced today that the ban on women in combat will be lifted. Rightly so, as 146 American service women have already died in Iraq and Afghanistane.

It's so cold in Chicago that firefighters put out a blazing building with water that kept freezing up. Walking around on ice with a high-pressure hose isn't easy, either.

5 Vegetables That Cause Weird Physical Reactions. Some of these might be fun to try, if you didn't have to eat all those vegetables.

Longcat is Real!

(via reddit)

Nostalgia Break #2

The Twilight Zone
Alfred Hitchcock Presents
The Outer Limits 
The X-files
Carnivale
Doctor Who
Dexter
Twin Peaks 

Let's Stay Together

By Barack Obama. Oh yeah, he started to sing the song last year, but thanks to the editing and auto tune skills of the Gregory Brothers, and the president's backlog of video speeches, we had the entire song now. Best part: Joe Biden's accents. (via Viral Viral Videos)

Cat Snow Fort

(via reddit)

Lemon and Water

(via Mostly Forbidden Zone)

John Stewart on the Inauguration Coverage

I'm glad Jon Stewart is there to keep an eye on all the different news networks, because they rest of us just don't have the time. The Daily Show gives us the good (read funny) parts. (via The Atlantic Wire)

Getting Away

From Drew at Toothpaste for Dinner.

Miss Cellania's Links

Musicians' Occupational Hazards.

The 16 Strangest Perfumes & Colognes in the World.

14 TV Series that Eclipsed their Original Film Versions. (via mental_floss)

Photographs of the Russian Revolution, hand colored and turned into magic lantern slides.

Dad's Hobby involved making wonderfully creative miniature scenes without the aid of Photoshop.


18 Funny Restaurant Signs. The wittiest guy with a piece of chalk lures in customers and goes viral on the internet.

Bad Writing Advice From Famous Authors. Some of these quotes may be facetious, or maybe they just didn't want the competition to succeed.

Why Argo will win the Oscar for Best Picture. Which strangely has more to do with timing than with the movie itself.

A Catholic priest in Connecticut who was arrested for selling meth allegedly ran a sex shop to launder drug money. If this was a TV series, it would fail for being too unbelievable.

So it turns out that Beyonce lip-synced the Star Spangled Banner at the presidential inauguration. No one really minds, but it was a great opportunity to post witty jokes on Twitter.

Love Dat Snowman!

(via reddit)

Snowmen Mauled by Tigers

This is what it looks like to be eaten by a tiger, minus the screams. A safari park in Wiltshire, England, built snowmen in the tiger enclosure and his a remote-control camera inside. Turns out the tigers love snowmen -for lunch! Don't miss the closeup shot of those immense choppers. (via Uproxx)

Don't Bring a Snowball to a Water Fight

England isn't used to so much snow, and some guys in Leeds don't know how to act. They spent ten minutes pelting workers on a boat with snowballs thrown from a bridge before this video starts. I bet they won't try that again! (via reddit)

10 Creative and Clever Crochet Crafts

Crochet is more than just afghans made of granny squares. Modern amigurumi artists can recreate just about anything they want in yarn, with the help of a hook and an eye for detail. See your favorite pop culture characters from Doctor Who to PSY recreated in crochet in a list I posted at mental_floss.

Photo credit: Flickr user Kim Tairi.

What Might Happen

(via Mostly Forbidden Zone)

Learning English with the Green Lantern

(via Cracked)

Malaria

A hit man meets Death, with the aim to kill him. But what would that mean in the long run? This short film by Edson Oda is neither live action nor animation, but it tells the story quite well in its own inventive way. With English subtitles. (via Metafilter)

Miss Cellania's Links

The Big Top's Top Ten. The most popular circus acts ever.

How to make Thin Mints.

The classic World War II picture of Mary Grayeyes is not what they told everyone. The real story is much more interesting. (via Nag on the Lake)

The Adorable Stormtrooper Photography Of Andy Wells. At the end of the day, even action figures go home and deal with real life situations.

10 Reasons Amazing Mynah Birds Are Just Like Us. At least they SAY they are!

The Deadly History of Persia’s Ancient Assassins. Not only does the name live on, so do their tactics, emulated by armies, spies, organized crime, and terrorists. 

Why You Truly Never Leave High School. “Somehow those three or four years can in retrospect feel like 30.”  (via Metafilter)
 
Did James Madison really propose appointing a secretary of beer? Death and Taxes gets to the bottom of the story.

Income Inequality Within Families is Emerging as a Major Issue.   

Let's Go and Meet the Bronies

John DeLancie (Star Trek's Q) explains the rise of the Bronies, and other aspects of My Little Pony fandom in a catchy little song. This is fan-made, not produced by Hasbro, but it is every bit as good as what you'll see on TV -or maybe even better!  (via Metafilter)

Mad Mother

(via Bits and Pieces)

Precision Walking

Precision walking is a sort of a sport in Japan. Whatever it is, they're good at it! (via Neatorama)

Restroom Rules

(via reddit)

Goo-Goo

(via Mostly Forbidden Zone)

Sarcastic Siri

(via The Daily What)

Lean on Me

Purple ticket holders for the 2009 presidential inauguration were jammed up in a tunnel for hours, but didn't get violent. In fact, they even started singing! Read about what happened to cause the snafu at HuffPo.  (via Viral Viral Videos)

Miss Cellania's Links

17 Martin Luther King Jr. Quotes You Never Hear. His advice covered poverty, religion, education, and war as well as civil rights.

Why Tweeting MLK's "I Have a Dream" Speech Now Constitutes Civil Disobedience. It was taken down from vimeo for copyright violation, but you can buy a DVD for $20.

10 U.S. Vice Presidents: A Celebration of Almost-Great Men.

The Fascinating Business Cards of 20 Famous People. Some are clever, but the understated cards are the most impressive.

Self-inflicted torture? A couple of Dutch TV hosts submitted to simulated labor pains via electrodes, to the delight of the audience and women who administered them.

Subway's 11-inch Footlong®. A silly thing to argue about, or a place to stand up for truth in advertising?

Creepy Stories of Grave Robbing. There's no resting in peace when a loved one cannot bear to let go.

How to Read Faster: Bill Cosby’s Three Proven Strategies.

"The 100 richest people in the world earned enough last year to end extreme poverty suffered by the poorest on the planet four times over, Oxfam has said."

Brushing Teeth

(via Fark)

What a Relief!

(via Buzzfeed)

Parrot Sings in the Shower

And not only does he sing well, he sings in Russian! (via Daily Picks and Flicks)

Inside a Smoke Detector

(via reddit)

Cat Memes Meeting

More about it here. (via reddit)

America's Sweetheart

(via reddit)

Infromed

(via Fark)

Miss Cellania's Links

Ten Things You Probably Didn't Know About Muhammad Ali.

Does makeup damage a woman's self-esteem or elevate it? Many links on the subject are at Metafilter, but you can't generalize any answer for all women.

11 Bizarre Ways They Treated The Flu In The Olden Days.

5 Audacious Sports Cheats (And How They Got Caught).

The Evolutionary Biology of Star Trek. 

Did you hear about The Guy Who Secretly Outsourced His Own Job To China So He Could Watch Cat Videos? It was a sweet gig while it lasted, but since he wasn't a CEO, it eventually caught up with him.

Designer Matteo Civaschi of Studio H-57 made a series of movie pictograms that spell out the entire plot. But you've certainly seen these classic films, so enjoy the short graphic versions,

Oh no! Wall Street banks and financial services are cutting back on bonuses this year. The average Goldman-Sachs employee has gone from $660,000 a year to a mere $400,000 in 2012.

The Ultimate Loyalty of Grieving Dogs. Meet a dozen of them who stood firmly by even after their master's death.

On Approach

(via I Can Has Cheezburger)

You Pig

(via Criggo)