Funny Links

The Top Ten Most Stupid Tattoos.

Right-wing blogger checks up on Obama’s uncle, with satisfying results.

Top 11 signs you’re at a geek barbecue. And eleven more.

The 6 Most Badass Stunts Ever Pulled in the Name of Science. Usually I recommend an article based on the subject matter (which is fascinating here), but this one is also fun to read for the inspired hyperbole of the writing.

History's 9 Most Terrifying Beauty Tips. Some of these might make you sick, just like the ancients who actually used them.

An English teacher takes a red pencil to a blog post, with hilarious results. I hope she doesn’t stumble upon any of my articles!

Impatient Kittens. This is obviously a case of life or death, from the kitten’s point of view.

Cinemaroll has a side-by-side comparison of the actors in the original Star Trek series and the younger actors who will play them (as younger characters) in the new movie. Do they measure up as far as looks go? Kirk, yes, Spock, yes, Uhura, yes, McCoy, yes, Sulu, no, Chekhov, no. You may disagree.

Kitty Torture. The responses.

What the CIA Learned From Get Smart.

Dumb Burglars

Every once in a while, security cameras give us better entertainment than Hollywood. (ia Neatorama)

Bride of the Gorilla

From Wikipedia:
Bride of the Gorilla is a 1951 B-movie film directed by Curt Siodmak and starring Raymond Burr, Lon Chaney Jr. and Barbara Payton. The pre-release working title was The Face in the Water.

Deep in the South American jungles, plantation manager Barney Chavez (Raymond Burr) kills his elderly employer in order to get to his beautiful wife Dina Van Gleder (Barbara Payton). However, an old native witch witnesses the crime and puts a curse on Barney, who soon after finds himself turning nightly into a rampaging gorilla. When a wise but superstitious police commissioner Taro (Lon Chaney Jr.) is brought in to investigate the plantation owners death and a rash of strange animal killings, he begins to suspect that all is not as it seems. Dina is also becoming suspicious with Barney, who is seeming to grow more in love with the jungle than with her. She follows him one night into the jungle, only to be attacked by the feral Barney. The police chief follows her screams in the jungle and shoots Monkey-Barney, the jungles justice having been dealt.

RIP Harvey Korman

You'll remember him as Hedly Lamarr in Blazing Saddles, Dr. Charles Montague in High Anxiety, Count de Monet in History of the World: Part I, and Dr. Jack Seward in Dracula: Dead and Loving It. He made many many television appearances, including The Star Wars Holiday Special, The Jack Benny Show, The Lucy Show, The Flintstones, The Munsters, The Harvey Korman Show, The Tim Conway Show, Mama's Family, The Love Boat, and most memorably in The Carol Burnett Show, where he attempted to keep a straight face week after week under the onslaught of overwhelming silliness. Harvey Korman died yesterday at the UCLA Medical Center. He was 81. See some really funny clips of his work at YesButNoButYes.

Information Links

Top 10 Ways to Show Teachers Your Appreciation. Even ex-students can do some of these things.

Everything you need to know about film can be learned in ten minutes. Director Robert Rodriguez gives students tips on becoming a filmmaker.

Atractaspis are also called mole vipers, burrowing asps, burrowing adders, stiletto snakes, or side-stabbing snakes. They can bite without opening their mouths!

You have to wonder what they were thinking, but I suppose there are places in the world where you can get in more trouble for shooting pictures than for aiming a gun. Oobject has a collection of 14 cameras that look just like guns. (via J-Walk Blog)

Mommy’s Home.

Blogging--It's Good for You. Research shows that it improves memory and sleep, boosts immune cell activity and reduces viral load in AIDS patients, and even speeds healing after surgery.

Brutal New York - 1965/95. It’s part of the collection American Pictures by Danish photographer Jacob Holdt. (via Metafilter)

Pneumatic tubes carried mail through New York City from 1897 to 1953. Books in at least two libraries are still delivered that way. And once, even a cat was sent through the tubes!

The Prelinger Archive, a repository of advertising, educational, industrial, and amateur films. A truly historical treasure on the internet.

There’s no information about here they are, but here are pictures of seven bus shelters I wouldn’t mind waiting in. (via Dark Roasted Blend)

Superman and Seinfeld

An odd combination, but it worked. Strangely.

7 Heroic Dogs

Although a pack mentality is natural for a dog, their bravery, loyalty, and selflessness can boggle the mind and warm the heart. Here are a few stories that illustrate what dogs are all about.

read more | digg story

Links Just for Fun

12 Odd & Unusual Chocolate Flavored Items. I might try the toothpaste, but I’ll skip the sushi. (via Geek Like Me)

How to fold a shirt. Pay attention.

8 Smooches That (sort-of) Shook the World. A kiss is just a kiss, unless it makes headlines the way these did!

Math geeks go disco with I Will Derive!

Vehicle crash tests are necessary for the development of safety innovations for consumers. And they are a lot of fun to watch when you’ve got dozens of them all smashed together.

The New York Times named its profile of webcomic xkcd and creator Randall Munroe “This Is Funny Only if You Know Unix”. I beg to differ, since I don’t know Unix and I find his comics hilarious almost all the time.

Fireflies is a pleasant little game where you aim for as many fireflies as you can. Ricochet shots count, too! (via Dump Trumpet)

Old Australian cookbooks are on exhibit at the State Library of New South Wales in Sydney. Some of the recipes are pretty strange from today’s view. (via Fark)

Fred Astaire dances to Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal.

Imagine you are taking a CPR training course and your “dummy” wakes up!

Western Mail

1942. From iMDB:
Just as Lucky Webster (Fred Kohler Jr). is being questioned about a recent train robbery, Tom Allen (Tom Keene) appears at his ranch and confirms his alibi. Lucky offers Tom a job with the gang he is secretly working for. Lucky's sister, Julie (Jean Trent), doesn't realize he is mixed up with an outlaw gang. Tom, a U.S. Marshal working undercover with Sheriff Big Bill Collins (Glenn Strange), asks the sheriff about respected citizen and bank president Jeff Gordon (LeRoy Mason), whom he suspects of working with the mail robbers. Tom plants a dictophone in Gordon's office and hears him tell gang leader Jim Rivers (Karl Hackett) that the next shipment is $15,000 and gives Rivers information to make the hold-up. Julie, accidently, tips Lucky off to Tom's real identity and Tom is ambushed as he rides back to the gang's hideout.

Good Reads

A roundup of unusual penetrating brain injuries. With properly horrifying x-rays.

An Older Brain Really May Be a Wiser Brain. We of a certain age already knew it, but it’s nice to be confirmed by science. (via Geek Like Me)

Vertical gardening is taking off all over the world. Living walls are not only a statement, they’re works of art! They are also cooling and calming, they freshen the air, and some produce flowers and vegetables as well.

Meet Mike the headless chicken. This is what you do with your dinner when it refuses to die.

Six ways to stretch a tank of gas. My favorite tip, “just stay home” is curiously absent.

The average housewife will push an iron for 215 miles over her lifetime in the quest to get wrinkle-free clothes, according to a new survey. No, not American housewives; we know about perma-press.

Dungeons and Dollhouses. It’s takes talent and patience to construct these intricately detailed houses based on literary fantasies.

The problem with online dating is the lack of real interaction. Virtual dating before meeting someone in person may be the next wave.

20 Common Cooking Ingredients that Act Like Medicines. As if we needed another excuse to eat garlic and onions.

10 Innovative Shipping Container Homes and Offices. Living in a box just became chic.

Chaine Alimentaire

(via Everlasting Blort)

Funny Links

Rolling Stone has an in-depth article explaining why Pink Floyd adopted a flying pig as a symbol, and how it became the most famous rock and roll prop ever. (via Metafilter)

If you need proof that cell phones are evil, try putting one in the microwave. or just watch the video.

The Date from Hell.

Typo Hunt Across America is the blog of the Typo Eradication Advancement League (TEAL). They spent the last couple of months not only finding and pointing out typos on public signs, they also corrected them or tried to get them corrected (with varying degrees of success). Now the League is asking for your stories of public typo correction. (via Metafilter)

MySpace Intervention. I LOLed.

Jake Mandell has another musical test called the Associative Visual Music Intelligence (AMVI) test. How well can you associate a musical sequence with a visual shape? It’s not easy!

Deforestation Hits Home. It takes dedication to illustrate deforestation in such a personal way. Harrison Ford is dedicated. And hairy-chested. Rowr.

Ask Alan Alda. He has all the answers, whether they are right or not.

Exercise equipment or sex toy? Take the quiz!

The owls are after Simon Cowell! (via b3ta)

Recycling a Coffeetable

After who knows how many years (it was used when I got it) and much abuse, the legs on my coffee table could take no more. I wasn't about to buy a new one, and I really didn't want to buy a used one. I considered going without, but realized that the kids would leave drinks on the floor, which would lead to extreme mess.

My mother-in-law had an old coffee table that had made it as far as her storage building, but it had been there so long that the elements had ruined the laminated top. The foundation was still strong, if not beautiful.

I removed the wonky legs from my table, and the top from hers. I also had to remove the frame underneath my tabletop because it was smaller than the foundation of hers.

A bit of carpenters glue. Actually, a LOT of carpenters glue!

I added bricks to weigh it down (not shown) and let it dry overnight.

The finished product (after I cleaned the glue and paint from the tabletop) is nothing to write home about, but it's perfectly serviceable. Sure beats buying another piece of furniture!

Oh, the frame I removed wasn't discarded. The kids are using it to frame their flower bed in front of the playhouse.

Boys of the City

From Wikipedia:
Boys of the City is a 1940 black-and-white comedy/thriller film directed by Joseph H. Lewis. It is the second East Side Kids film and the first to star Bobby Jordan, Leo Gorcey, and Ernest Morrison.

Memorial Day Links

10 Things to Remember About Memorial Day.

After defying odds, a Marine loses his final battle.

The Things that Carried Him. Four thousand American soldiers have died in Iraq. This is the true story of how one of them came home.

The last known WWI veteran is honored for Memorial Day.

An Okinawa Remembrance.

The Virtual Honor Wall. You are welcome to add a serviceman/woman that is either on active duty, or has passed in the line of duty, a civilian killed during conflicts.

This site is dedicated to all who fought and are buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall.

Memorial

Featured in this video:
Army Pfc. Ryan R. Berg
Marine Sgt. Gary S. Johnston
Army Sgt. James J. Regan
Marine Capt. Jennifer J. Harris
Army Spc. Jonathan K. Smith
Army Sgt. Robert M. McDowell
Army Pfc. Katie M. Soenksen
Army Spc. Astor A. Sunsin-Pineda
Army Cpl. Gregory N. Millard
Marine Cpl. Christopher G. Scherer
Army Sgt. Keith A. Kline
Army Spc. Kamisha J. Block
Navy Master-at-Arms Seaman Anamarie Sannicolas Camacho
Navy Explosive Ordnance Disposal Technician 2nd Class Kevin R. Bewley

Basic Instructions

Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer takes everyday situations, big and small, and gives them a twist. Every panel is barrage of one-liners that add up to a wtf? reaction.

If this picture is too small to read, click on it or go to the original page.

Pork and Beans

Check out all the internet celebrities and memes in this video by Weezer.

My Flower Garden

May is beautiful.



A different angle.

Flying Penis

Gary Kasparov held a press conference about his new political opposition party. When it was interrupted by a flying penis, he quipped:

"I think we have to be thankful for the opposition's demonstration of the level of discourse we need to anticipate. Also, apparently most of their arguments are located beneath the belt." Someone in the audience shouts, "Finally the political power shows its face!" Kasparov quickly replies, "Well, if that's its face..." to laughter from the audience.

Someone Behind the Door

From Google video:
A nefarious doctor (Anthony Perkins) strategically manipulates an amnesiac (Charles Bronson) in this slow paced thriller. Also stars Jill Ireland. AKA "Quelqu'un derrière la porte."

7 Strange and Different Restaurants

Opening a new restaurant is risky. 60% of new restaurants close or change ownership within three years. One way to make a restaurant stand out from the crowd is to have a theme, and the wackier the better. It may be as simple as putting costumes on the waiters and decorating the walls, or it may be an entirely new concept...

read more | digg story

He Took a Polaroid Every Day, Until the Day He Died

Yesterday I came across a slightly mysterious website — a collection of Polaroids, one per day, from March 31, 1979 through October 25, 1997. There’s no author listed, no contact info, and no other indication as to where these came from. So, naturally, I started looking through the photos. I was stunned by what I found...

Artist and musician Jamie Livingston began taking a Polaroid picture every day, from March 31st, 1979 through October 5th, 1997 -his 41st birthday, and the day he died. The resulting 6,697 pictures are an art collection, exhibited by his friends Hugh Crawford and Betsy Reid. Chris Higgins at mental_floss has posted select photos that follow the story of Livingston’s life and decline as he battled cancer, plus the story of what happened to the photo collection afterward.

read more | digg story

Fun and Funny Links

A look at Modern Underwear. Danged if I can make heads or tails out of it.

8 Child Prodigies So Amazing They'll Ruin Your Day.

These guys took a boulder of Lego bricks and sent it rolling down a hill in San Francisco chasing a guy dressed as Indiana Jones! The boulder met its match in a car parked along the way.

10 Strangest Names EVAR! Some people had a legal change, and some were cursed by their loving parents.

A Hollywood orangutan is looking for work. Times are tough for everyone.

There’s a how-to book for every human activity imaginable. Some are quite unnecessary, others are written in fun. And some people even buy them! (via the Presurfer)

Parrot for Obama!

The Secret History of Star Wars. An ebook about how the story came to be. (via Geek Like Me)

What would you do with the last seconds of your life? Would you be able to enjoy the ride, when the last stop is in sight? Watch the animated video Fallen.

In the first point and click game, you try to save your world from a space collision. In the second game, you must find a lost dog. And if you’re familiar with Samorost, you know it’s really much more than that.

Sinatra Squirrel

(Thanks, Jess!)

Informative Links

Brandon Pinto spills the beans on what it’s like to portray Captain Jack Sparrow at Disneyland. They told him no flirting, no mentioning alcohol, and no facial hair. Huh?

If wind can turn a turbine and produce electricty, how about harnessing the power of tides? Ireland is already doing it!

Sex as a consumer good and the problem with Hookup Culture. “Sex is like ice cream. The more flavors you sample, the harder it becomes to settle on one flavor for the rest of you life.”

A sense of powerlessness not only makes you feel frustrated and depressed, it also may negatively affect your mental skills. Remember that when dealing with your employees, students, or children.

Self-Repairing Aircraft Could Improve Air Safety. It probably won’t do much about delays and long lines.

Hold the mass graves and cremations: Dead bodies don't cause disease epidemics. After natural disasters, the real danger comes from the survivors.

A head of his time: Phineas Gage’s horrific accident. If you’re not already familiar with the case, it might make your head hurt.

Five Gadgets That Will Make You a Superhero. Of course, you have to be super rich to afford them.

What makes married men want to have affairs? This article goes far beyond “because they can.”

Buying a used car is greener than buying a hybrid. More likely to fit into your budget, too.

Yogurt

What else could a woman possibly need? (via the Presurfer)

God's Gun

A young Leif Garrett stars in this western drama about boy raised in a brothel and is befriended by a Priest who is killed by a gang of outlaws. The boy finds the Priest's twin brother who takes it upon himself to avenge his brother's death. 1976.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull opens tomorrow, which means a lot of theaters will have showings that start just after midnight tonight (and they'll be crowded, even on a school night). I don't care what the reviews from Cannes say, and I don't care that Harrison Ford is 64 years old. I'll be there sometime this weekend, watching and enjoying Indy again.

10 Awesome Indiana Jones Facts. Stories about how the four movies were made.

Why Indiana Jones is our Greatest American Hero.

Even though he’s old.

Jokes, links and videos about Indiana Jones.

Spoiler-free Movie Review.

Links for Fun

Pictures of a Really Cool Grandma. (via Bits and Pieces)

Wedding Cake as Art. Shinmin Li spends her time obsessing over cake consistency, design details, and whether her clients will eat the finished product. See her website. (via Grow-A-Brain)

5 Vacation Planning Tips (According To Horror Movies).

Rods and Balls. This is the kind of thing your kids are seeing in science class these days. If they don’t remember the science behind it, they’ll at least remember how much this guy enjoys polishing his rod.

Responsibility. A sci-fi short story to make you think.

The farm where they grow eyeshadow. Really, it's a water treatment plant in Peru.

This is a bit of fun for a minute or two! Control the spider with your mouse. That curious six-legged thing with a dog’s tail and a beak isn’t so easy to control. (via Le Web ...et le reste.)

You know those occasional pictures you see of sports figures with their pants pulled off during a game or some such? Sports Dignity is a site where all those pictures are available. Contains nudity. Duh.

Wine-and-Junk-Food Pairing Challenge.

The 10 best beer names ever. (via Metafilter)

Coconut

Ah, the memories this song brings back!

The Pond

THE POND

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.� Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Some old men can still think fast!

Animal Prosthetics: A Leg Up on a Bad Break

Amputee animals have a hard life. In the last few years, more and more disabled creatures of different species are being helped by modern technology, and by the researchers and volunteers who go the extra mile.

read more | digg story

Good Reads

There's a lot of BS and posing on the net, but every once in a while you have a chance to really do something worthwhile. Here's a case in point. (via Andy's Blog)

Familiarity Breeds Contempt. People's intuition is that learning more about a new acquaintance will lead to greater liking. In fact, on average, we like other people less the more we know about them.

15 Infamous Top Secret Bases & Compounds From Around The World. Looks like they aren’t secret any more!

A video from NASA and GISS shows the earth’s surface temperatures and how they’ve changed since 1884. Just watch what happens around the 1980s!

An English 101 teacher says: There seems, as is often the case in colleges, to be a huge gulf between academia and reality. No one is thinking about the larger implications of admitting so many students to classes they cannot possibly pass.

How to make your eye feel like it's closed, when it's actually open. This is why pirates wore eye patches, for instant night vision. Let us know if it works for you.

A 3D Exploration of Picasso's Guernica. Cool effect, but the subject matter is more anguished than ever.

Five Classics Written Under the Influence.

Why Iceland has the happiest people on Earth. The secret is a laid-back attitude and few hangups.

An account of going from average to Superman in 16 weeks with the help of steroids. This is actually a horror story.

Flooded Server Room

Maybe it’s not such a good idea to put your server in the basement. (via Metafilter)

The Dumb Test

Just How Dumb Are You?

1. What do you put in a toaster?

The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such ! as "Children's World". If you said, "water" then proceed to question three.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks", what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said "glass", then go on to question four.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree", you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, Read the first line!!!

OK, do you feel dumb now?

Princess Iron Fan

From Wikipedia:
Princess Iron Fan (traditional Chinese: 鐵扇公主; simplified Chinese: 铁扇公主; pinyin: Tiě shàn gōngzhǔ), is the first Chinese animated feature film. It was directed in Shanghai under difficult conditions in the thick of World War II by Wan Guchan and Wan Laiming (the Wan brothers) and was released on January 1, 1941.

The story was liberally adapted from the popular Chinese folk tale Journey to the West. Princess Iron Fan is a main character.

Specifically, the film focused on the duel between the Monkey King and a vengeful princess, whose fan is desperately needed to quench the flames that surround a peasant village.

Funny Links

How president Bush is portrayed in international advertisements.

MUTO, an awesome graffiti animation. This must have taken forever to put together.

7 Memorable Commencement Addresses. Ali G gives his advice, Kurt Vonnegut wasn’t the one to advise you on sunscreen, and lots of surprising speakers who never got a degree.

The cutest collection of mother and baby animals you’ll see today.

21-year-old William Lopez was ejected from his graduation ceremony Thursday at Yankee Stadium. New York University held its commencement at the ballpark because of construction at Washington Square Park. The students were told to stay off the field, but Lopez couldn’t resist the temptation to run the bases.

I have no idea what the science is here, but the graphic is quite interesting. (via b3ta)

How to take a woman’s clothes off using a mechanical shovel.

A best-of list you never want to be a part of: The 21 Best Mugshots Evar. The guy at #1 already has fanfiction written about him.

Can you name all the US states in ten minutes? Spelling counts, but the map makes it easy. I did it in 3:45, rather slow because I don’t touch type. If you want to try it without a map, go here.

What can you do when you have to load your bobcat on a truck and you have no ramp? Watch and learn from a master.

The Real McCain

But which word?

Natalie Du Toit

Oscar Pistorius is in the headlines as a South African amputee athlete who aspires to compete in the the Olympics. All well and good. The controversy is over his prosthetic legs, which he uses to run the 400 meter footrace. He recently won an appeal to give it a shot, although his best time is still slighter over Olympic qualifying standards. Pistorius’ abilities aside, the story raised a discussion (as in the comments at Neatorama) about the “slippery slope” of allowing prosthetic legs or any mechanical athletic enhancement.

OK, but did you know about the OTHER South African amputee athlete who has already qualified for Beijing? Last month, Natalie Du Toit made the Olympic team in the new 10K Open Water Swimming event. Du Toit lost the lower half of her left leg seven years ago in a traffic accident. She is the first amputee ever to qualify for the summer Olympic games. Du Toit narrowly missed qualifying for the Olympic swmming team in 2000, before her amputation.

Unlike Pistorius, Du Toit does not wear a prosthetic leg in races and is therefore free to compete in Beijing. It is akin to competing in a sculling race with one scull or a kayak race with a single-bladed paddle. Her secret? Well, there is no secret, she says, no physical or technical trick to compensate for the loss of a limb. Just hard work and obsessive determination. "There's no real compensation. You just do the hours in the swimming pool, you do the hours of racing and you do the hours of mental preparation. You just go out and give it everything. I don't even think of one leg, two legs. When you're racing in an able-bodied competition you're all equal and you go out there and try your best, and that's what counts.

"Swimming is my passion and something that I love. Going out there in the water, it feels as if there's nothing wrong with me. I go out there and train as hard as anybody else. I have the same dreams, the same goals. It doesn't matter if you look different. You're still the same as everybody else because you have the same dream."

First off, this event involves swimming over six miles in the open ocean. There are waves, sharks, and some nasty pollution in your way. Second, Du Toit doesn’t use any sort of prosthetic when she’s swimming. No controversy, but she has to work twice as hard to get as far. Third, I would write a lot more, but I think I’ve pulled a muscle in my index finger while typing.

Married to the Sea

I'm going to enjoy recommending webcomics, since it gives me an opportunity to look through them again. I love Married to the Sea. You should browse through the archives for some really off the wall funnies, well illustrated. Creators Drew and Natalie Dee also have their separate sites, Toothpaste for Dinner and Natalie Dee (both recommended).

Jay Leno Reads the Paper

Just for fun, here are some of the best things Jay Leno has found in print. I’m so glad online writing can be corrected! (via Gigglesugar)

Funny links

Long before internet shopping, Wile E. Coyote got all his products via mail order from the ACME Catalog. ACME sold just about anything you’d ever need! You can take a look at the catalog yourself. (via Dump Trumpet)

A Rescued Baby Squirrel. Oh, the cuteness!

Stephen Colbert defends Bill O’Reilly on the recently-surfaced tape of him losing it on the set (included here). In solidarity with his hero, Colbert drags out a tape of the time he pulled a similar tantrum.

Comic book and cartoon characters drawn as senior citizens. They don’t hold up any better than the rest of us!

Really cool animated wall graffiti.

25 of the Strangest Collections on the Web.

The Idiot Test. I think I passed... does that mean I’m an idiot?

5 Famous Authors and Their Perversions.

Why you should never teach Granny how to use YouTube.

The weirdest news stories of the week.

They Live

From Wikipedia:

They Live is a 1988 film directed by John Carpenter, who also wrote the screenplay under the pseudonym “Frank Armitage”. The movie is based on Ray Nelson's 1963 short story Eight O’Clock in the Morning.

Part science fiction thriller and part black comedy, the film echoed contemporary fears of a declining economy, within a culture of greed and conspicuous consumption common among Americans in the 1980s. In They Live! the ruling class within the monied elite are in fact aliens managing human social affairs through the use of subliminal media advertising and the control of economic opportunity.

Good Reads

The first telephone switchboard operators were teenage boys, which was a disaster. So telephone companies hired women, who were more pleasant and patient, would work under draconian conditions, and could be paid as little as $7 a week. (via Metafilter)

The Mars Phoenix Lander is scheduled to touch down on the red planet's north pole on May 25. Scientists are biting their nails and crossing their fingers, because they still don’t know what happened to the last polar mission.

Things that are younger than John McCain. It’s a long list.

The U.S. government has injected hundreds of foreigners it has deported with dangerous psychotropic drugs against their will to keep them sedated during their trip back. (via Metafilter)

You might train for years and still not build up large muscles. You should do it anyway, because strength and endurance are more important for a long and healthy life.

The Worst Cities in America.

A new material developed by Arch Therapeutics can stop bleeding almost instantly.

Free Lunch: How the Wealthiest Americans Enrich Themselves at Government Expense (and Stick You With the Bill).

A history of the eugenics movement. Thousands of “undesirables” were sterilized in the US, decades before (and after) the Nazis endorsed the idea.

Portion Size, Then and Now. Large quantities of cheap food have distorted our perceptions of what a typical meal is supposed to look like. Even our plates are larger than they used to be!

Hand Solo

Even after hundreds of viewings of Return of the Jedi who could have known that while Luke was off trying to save the universe, his best friend was feeling up his sister? (via Sand and Cotton)

Fun Links

Truth in Website Logos.

How to Love a Lego Lunatic. A ten point system for dealing with your significant other’s obsession.

Star Wars Geeks vs. Sports Geeks. We all have our obsessions, don’t we?

Extreme Pogo Stick.

The 6 Most Frequently Quoted Bullsh*t Statistics.

How cool is an anteater among humans? These pictures will make you want to run out and get one of your own!

Charles Barkley Does a Ron Burgundy. A classic TelePrompTer prank for which he fell hook, line, and sinker.

Send $10 to The Something Store, and they will send you something. You won’t know what it is until you open it, but hey, it’s only ten dollars! Free shipping!

Top Ten Angry On-Camera Meltdowns.

When you put an individually-wrapped cheese slice on a barbecue grill, the plastic will inflate while the cheese melts and boils. The object of the sport of cheese racing is to see whose slice reaches full inflation first.

Planet Earth

Take a three minute break and enjoy some scnes from planet Earth. Music by composer Jo Blankenburg.

China 9, Liberty 37

When a condemned gunfighter named Clayton is reprieved by an unscrupulous railroad company, the trade off is the assassination of an unsuspecting rancher named Matthew. When Clayton arrives at his target's ranch, he can't bring himself to go through with the killing. To his surprise, Matthew's wife Catherine joins him, believing she has killed her husband. She turns out to be mistaken and an enraged Matthew joins forces with the equally peeved railroad company to hunt the pair down.

Knowledge and Information

Prehistoric Inca neurosurgery was more than just cutting holes in skulls. As far back as 600 years ago, the success rate was 90%!

5 Scientific Laws and the Scientists Behind Them.

Bees don’t have the sense of smell that they used to. Could air pollution be the cause of colony collapse disorder?

You do NOT want to click this link. Really, you don’t want to.

Cool Math: toys for mathematically-minded adults and kids. I don’t know what a lot of these things are, but I want to play with them anyway!

Scientists have created the first genetically modified human embryo. Is this a quantum leap forward or a step down the slippery slope?

How lions hunt. This video is just a little bloody, but that’s nature’s way.

Leonardo da Vinci’s Ten Best ideas. If these had been his only ideas, he would still be remembered and admired today.

78-year-old Dale Davis lost his sight due to macular degeneration 11 years ago. On May 3rd, Davis found himself with a string of 11 strikes and one frame left.

7-Step Foolproof Guide to Creating a Terrible Relationship.

Indexed

Cynical-C posted this and reminded me that I want to start a new feature here at Miss C Recommends. There are so many wonderful webcomics on the net that are worth sharing. So I will occasionally feature one here. Today’s recommendation is Indexed, by Jessica Hagy. She draws Venn and other diagrams on index cards. The results are thought-provoking, hilarious, or both!

7 Wizards… or are they all the same guy?

We like our wizards to fit a certain mold. They seem to have the same characteristics in many of our classic adventure tales. A wizard trains or mentors the young protagonist (to whom he is not related), has knowledge unavailable to the general public which was passed down from long ago, uses supernatural powers, sports a white beard (mainly to show his advanced age), and despite his age, he’s still good in a fight.

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Links for Fun

Isabella Rossollini acts out the mating habits of insects in the video series Green Porno. It’s only titillating if you are an insect.

How are you going to spend your economic stimulus check?

The 5 Most Ridiculous Causes to Ever Get a Website.

It would take real talent to screw up a movie with this concept. The Nazis have been hiding out on the moon since 1945. Eventually, they’ll come back.

I’ve heard that a man will name his penis because it has a mind of its own. Now you can get all official about it at Name Your Wang. (via Dump Trumpet)

McDonalds To Change Their Slogan to “C’mon You’re Fat Anyway”.

Yep, Monkeys Like Porn Too.

Professor Arthur Shapiro started a blog about optical illusions called Illusion Sciences. He posts illusions, then explains why they fool the eye (or the mind). (via J-Walk Blog)

The 6 Creepiest Comic Book Characters of All Time.

High Maintenance. A film about the future of male-female relationships.

How to Put Your Jeans On

This beats laying on the bed to get them zipped up anytime! (via Arbroath)

Neatorama Store Now Open!

Find out more about this design: Neatoramanaut T-Shirt

The Neatorama Store is now open! There are over a dozen t-shirts available, some designed especially for Neatorama by Adam "Apelad" Koford, shirts featuring the work of featured web artists, and others that are just plain silly.

Dressed to Kill

From Wikipedia:

Dressed to Kill, aka 'Sherlock Holmes in Dressed To Kill', is a Sherlock Holmes film starring Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes. It is the last collaboration between Rathbone and Nigel Bruce.

Three cheap musical boxes (each one playing a subtly different version of "The Swagman"), manufactured in Dartmoor Prison, are sold at a local auction house. However, a criminal gang is determined to steal and recover all three, even if it means committing murder. Sherlock Holmes tries to recover the music boxes and crack the secret code contained in the tune before the gang can get what they want.

Information Links

As the space shuttle lifts off, someone is prepared to destroy it. NASA has a “Flight Termination” plan in case the craft poses a danger to a populated area.

Make your own ethanol at home? It’s possible with a new still that resembles a washing machine, but it may not yet be profitable.

Enjoy the beauty of Planet Earth. Three minutes that will restore your appreciation of the natura world.

Photographs of the Chaitén volcano eruption in Chile. Mythology is born from scenes such as these.

Dove's campaign for "Real Beauty" was Photoshopped.

A collection of houses with lawns on the roof.

The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master. (via Gorilla Mask)

ProTraveller looks at 17 theaters and auditoriums that survive from ancient times.

How news organizations decide whether a country’s name change is legitimate. On the Burma/Myanmar question, both newspapers and countries are divided over whether to recognize the switcheroo.

A look at a few parasites and their horrifying habits. Not for the squeamish.

Happy Mother's Day!

Princess made this for me on the computer. Thank you, sweetie!

Indiana Jones Fight Scene

Didn’t anyone ever explain to you that you shouldn’t bring a knife to a gunfight?

One Way to Light a Candle

How do guys save up SO much fuel?

Horrors of Spider Island

1962. Beautiful women are held captive by the evil monster of Spider Island!

Good Reads

The Largest Insects on Planet Earth. Nine bugs that you don’t want to see in your home!

The most visually frightening bridge ever. The Sky Bridge in Langkawi, Malaysia is held up by one thin column set at an angle.

Who should MDs let die in a pandemic? A new report recommends who should receive the lowest priority consideration when resources are tight.

Enter this sweepstakes, and you could win a grass-fed cow, already packaged and frozen for you. (via YesButNoButYes)

How Boys Become Boys (and Sometimes Girls). New research explains how three proteins conspire to determine an embryo's sex.

Beyond Rape: A Survivor’s Journey. An extensive and heart wrenching account of a victim, a rapist, and the many other affected by the crime.

Travel Tips for Globetrotting Geeks. A little preparation can save you from technology withdrawal when you vacation abroad.

131 million-year-old bird fossil found in China. The Confucius Bird, who lived along the dinosaurs, resembles modern birds much more than the Archaeopteryx.

Lots of Animals Learn, but Smarter Isn’t Better. Creatures who are born with all the information they ever need are less likely to be eaten while others are busy learning.

Boing Boing Gadgets editor Joel Johnson recently spent a week in the woods to see if he could work on the internet in the wild using only solar power. The results are on video.

Teflon John by Max and the Marginalized

(via Jesus’ General)

High Class (and high price) Toilets

When you gotta go, you can’t be too picky. A clean and functioning toilet will usually do just fine. However, thanks to money and imagination, some restrooms end up standing head and shoulders above the others. (An extremely intriguing list of the most bizarre rest rooms in the entire world.)

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Links for Fun and Entertainment

A Butterfly Destroyed My Roof!

Gynecologists say the darndest things.

Top Ten Crazy Asian Pizza Crusts. Shrimp, mayonaisse, sweet potatoes, they’re all on the menu.

Illustrator Mike Reed began caricaturing the personalities that forum users display during flame wars some years ago, and the collection has expanded over time. Surely you will recognize some of these from your own experience. (via Everlasting Blort)

A Bride Named Amy. She was surprised by a totally over-the-top tribute to her at her wedding.

Relative Dog Motion. A discussion on physics with the family dog, which helps me understand relativity better than any textbook.

A Typical Conversation with My Mom. For some reason, this sounds very familiar. I think we all have the same Mom.

5 Psychological Experiments That Prove Humanity is Doomed. They do help us understand the craziness around us.

See how other Americans are spending their economic stimulus checks at the blog How I Spent My Stimulus. You can submit your own report, too!

Game Shows Can Sap Your Brains Out.