Political Hijinks

It's like we shot a whole country in the face!

The collapse of the Christian Coalition.

It seems like ABC has something against Dennis Kucinich. Maybe because he’d be the hardest president on big business? (via Crooks and Liars)

Applying psychology to politics, or why people sometimes vote against their own best interests.

H.L. Mencken predicted the Bush presidency.

Senator Larry Craig was arrested and pled guilty to public disturbance when he was caught soliciting in a mensroom. Then he made a public statement.

Agitprop has some funny videos about Larry Craig and David Vitter.

The KKK vs. the Clowns

A KKK rally in Knoxville turned into a comedy as the 100th ARA (Anti Racist Action) clown posse joined in to compete for the silliest spectacle of the day.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s shouted, “White Flour?” the clowns yelled back running in circles throwing flour in the air and raising separate letters which spelt “White Flour”.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s angrily shouted once more, “White flowers?” the clowns cheers and threw white flowers in the air and danced about merrily.

“White Power!” the Nazi’s tried once again in a doomed and somewhat funny attempt to clarify their message, “ohhhhhh!” the clowns yelled “Tight Shower!” and held a solar shower in the air and all tried to crowd under to get clean as per the Klan’s directions.

At this point several of the Nazi’s and Klan members began clutching their hearts as if they were about to have a heart attack. Their beady eyes bulged, and the veins in their tiny narrow foreheads beat in rage. One last time they screamed “White Power!”

The clown women thought they finally understood what the Klan was trying to say. “Ohhhhh…” the women clowns said. “Now we understand…”, “WIFE POWER!” they lifted the letters up in the air, grabbed the nearest male clowns and lifted them in their arms and ran about merrily chanting “WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER! WIFE POWER!”

Read the whole story at Asheville Indymedia.

Pretty neat stuff.

A whole slew of informative articles piling up! Read and learn something new.

The secret of Star Wars fandom. Real Star Wars fans hate Star Wars.

Ugly Jugs. It’s not what you think, you pervert!

The country is happier when real estate prices are going up. But it is healthier when prices are going down.

The Disconnect Between Wages and Home Prices.

The Legacy of Sadako, who died at age twelve, but still has inspires those who hear her story.

Over the past 20 yrs, the proportion of the public paying 'very close attention' to news coverage about science and technology has dropped 50%.

The reason subways are so hot is because they are air-conditioned. (via Cynical-C)

What Makes Some People Impulsive? Area Responsible For 'Self-control' Found In Human Brain.

How To Hide An Airplane Factory.

If you are having trouble with your cable company, look up the president and call him/her. Here are the phone numbers. (via the Consumerist)

A comparison of the difference between DVD and High-Definition, using images from Star Wars.

Jim Carrey on Aung San Suu Kyi

Nobel Peace Prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi has been under house arrest in Myanmar (formerly Burma) for years. Her husband lived in Britain until his death in 1999; her sons have grown up without her. For more information, go to the US Campaign for Burma.

Miss South Carolina Roundup

No doubt by now you’ve seen the video of Lauren Upton trying to explain why some Americans can’t read a map at the Miss Teen USA pageant. I posted it here, along with my reaction. Millions of people saw that. Millions. Tuesday, she went on the Today Show to try and pull her reputation out of the can. Millions more saw that. But the internet is always thirsting for something new, so the responses and parodies are flying.

1. A little explanation from Miss West Carolina.

2. Her parents were so proud!

3. A look at what’s going on inside.

4. Lauren calls 911.

5. Someone was kind enough to make her a tube map.

6. Mo Rocca challenged his readers to unscramble her words and try to make them sensible.

7. Jimmy Kimmel explains what she said.

8. People Magazine presents the Miss S.C. Teen USA's Geography Pop Quiz. See, she's already gotten a job out of this business!

9. Maps for Us is a blog where you can donate maps for Americans who don't have maps.

10. Get the t-shirt. Or this one. Or this one.

Miss Teen Texas Answers Question on Tribal Sovereignty

Best headline I’ve seen all week, thanks to Cynical-C.

Links for Fun and Laughs

Can you count all the sexual metaphors they crammed into this one ad?

Miss South Carolina really screwed up her interview question at the Miss Teen USA Pageant, but it made her a star. Also see the response from Miss West Carolina.

The first bloggers.

The Ultimate Homemade Slip and Slide.

A list of species designations for Wile E. Coyote.

Alpha Male. I dare you not to be impressed.

Mythbusters tests what a bull would do in a china shop.

The crosswalk prank. I couldn’t stop watching this, or giggling.

College offers course on bad movie physics.

Screaming frog and flying frog.

Politics: the big stories

Jon Stewart explains the American involvement in the Middle East


The Great Iraq Swindle: How Bush Allowed an Army of For-Profit Contractors to Invade the U.S. Treasury.

As Gonzales moves out, talk is that Michael Chertoff will be his replacement. One step forward, two steps back.

Edwards puts his campaign on the line to speak the truth about corporate America.

The Situation in Darfur, explained quickly and simply.

As we try to wean single mothers off welfare (without adequate daycare), banks and financial entities are getting government bailouts. (via Canadian Cynic)

Mountaintop Removal and other Horrors

Bush Administration Declares War on Mountains and the People Who Live There. I’ve seen what mountaintop removal can do. It’s more than just ruining the skyline. The byproducts from the operation are toxic. The removed material is dumped in valleys, where it changes land stability, water supplies, drainage, and living spaces for plant, animal, and human life. Appalachian Apocalypse has more on the effects of mountaintop removalon communities close to where I live. Learn more about mountaintop removal here. More on the new regulations.

Americans’ vanishing right to travel.

Proposed money-saving Medicare changes are more dangerous than they appear.

Two types of people -the ones who get it, and the ones who don’t.

Around the Blogosphere

Congratulations to Anita Bath of Say No to Crack on the birth of her son last week!

Saskboy was taking some digital video footage when the blackout hit at Taylor Field in Regina a few days ago. His footage turned out to be very much coveted by news outlets.

This caption contest at Wulfweard the White made me laugh out loud!

Penny got bit on the butt by a brown recluse spider!

Razen is getting the runaround from Circuit City.

Jon Swift takes on film critic John Podhoretz. Podhoretz' response? “You’re a dope.”

How to repair your glasses to make them last forever.

Defective Yeti is posting a continuing update on what jury duty is like.

PRAYER LIST

Raggedy has had some setbacks in her recovery, but plans to return to blogging next week (we hope).

Former Frontier Editor’s father is battling quite a few health problems.

Lisa B has been sick and coughing so much that her eye started bleeding.

Saur is having back troubles.

Chris' father is recovering from a heart attack.

I still haven’t caught up on my blog reading. If you know any other prayer concerns to share, please leave a comment.

Advice from a Wise Man on Getting Older

* Accept gracefully what you cannot change. As you age, you will steadily gain wisdom. Unfortunately, it goes right to your prostate gland. This explains why, as a young man, your prostate is the size of a walnut, but as you get older it is the size of a Wal-Mart. The good news is that there are drugs to at least partially control this. The bad news is that these drugs have side effects that can include -- this is the truth; I am reading it right from the package insert -- "breast enlargement."

* For the rest of your life, you will remain locked into whatever music you currently listen to. Trust me, it happens to everyone. It happened to me. Given the quality of popular music of the 1960s, I am fine. Given the quality of popular music of the 2000s, you are toast. Suggestion: Get a job as a jackhammer operator, wear no ear protection, go deaf. At least your taste in music won't make you a source of contemptuous merriment to your children, the way my parents were to me.

* Cleanse your language of certain callow affectations common to your generation, for they will not serve you well later in life. I, for example, employed the word "groovy" well into my twenties, until I once used it as a panelist on a TV political talk show, while discussing the sociopolitical ramifications of a gubernatorial veto. The studio audience actually laughed. In your case, when being interviewed about your nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court, you do not want to say, "I was, like, 'No way,' and the president goes, 'For realz, yo,' and . . ."

* The index of male physical pleasure can be plotted by two lines on a chart. One of these lines, which begins very high in one's younger years, represents the pleasures of the bedroom. The other, which begins quite low, represents the pleasures of the bathroom. I am assured by men older than I that these lines eventually intersect. I do not want to presume to tell you how to prepare for this moment, but I will share my plan, if it will be of help. When those two lines intersect, I will commit hari-kari. I will aim for my stomach, but will probably hit my prostate.

* Practice preemptive temperance. You know how you can get completely wasted one night, and the next morning you're okay? Well, one day, that won't be true anymore. And I mean "one day." This change will occur, literally, overnight, and you will discover it too late, as I did, when I arrived for work unshaven, with mismatched shoes, on a Saturday.

(Thanks, Rich!)

Cool, funny, and bizarre links

How many sexual metaphors can you cram into one TV ad?

Total Momsense. If you are a mother, or ever had a mother, you'll laugh at this!

What an out-of-control window washing rig can do to a glass skyscraper.

A nightmare-inducing version of the childrens book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

Latino 300.

Fart in the Duck.

The time I almost got laid. The tragedy of having a common name.

Dedicated photographers go the extra mile for a picture.

Monkey vs. Toddler. Which should you invest in?

13 of the worst fake accents on film.

Really Cool Aquariums.

The Oreo Cookie Story

Ben Cohen of Ben and Jerry’s explains things. With cookies. And you thought the federal budget was hard to understand! Just click on the image. (via Everlasting Blort)

Blogiversary

Today is the second anniversary of the date I started blogging. Miss Cellania actually started right here on this site, and was moved to another host a year later. I’m glad I kept this URL, because I’m using it a lot lately! Read about the history of Miss Cellania and Miss C Recommends at my Blogiversary post today.

Politics as Usual

Some of this stuff is last week’s news, I know, but I’ve been busy. These links are still informative if you haven’t read the stories!

Americans earned a smaller average income in 2005 than in 2000, the fifth consecutive year that they had to make ends meet with less money than at the peak of the last economic expansion, new government data shows. (via Susie-Q)

Top 20 Taboo Topics for Presidential Candidates. Why someone who speaks their mind can’t get elected.

Wired Blogs is looking at who is editing Wikipedia entries in order to protect or shape their own image.

Feminist Bloggers Are Under Increasing Levels of Attack.

Liberals read more books than conservatives.

How I Got Arrested for Holding an IMPEACH Sign.

The Myth of America's Rags-to-Riches Presidents.

Ted Nugent is considering a run for governor of Michigan.

Passengers on airplanes are treated like criminals already. But when you combine that with hours of delays while sitting on a plane, you eventually get a revolt. Not that it helped, they were still treated as criminals. (via Metafilter)

Still, you’d better plaster a smile on your face while traveling. Or else.

Children's Health Insurance

I’m not surprised by this: Bush Administration Acts to Limit Healthcare Coverage Plan for Poor Children. A quote from the article about the state CHIP program:

The program, pushed and signed by President Bill Clinton in 1997, has been a clear success. Over the course of last year, it provided health coverage to 6.6 million low-income children at a cost to the federal government of $5 billion.

That comes out to $757 dollars a year per child. Try getting private coverage for that.

OK, here’s an example. A single mom with two kids makes, oh, $20,000 a year. That’s ten dollars an hour, almost twice minimum wage, but just a bit above the poverty level, and quite below the US median family income. She can a) buy family insurance coverage through her job for about a thousand dollars a month, which will cover partial prescriptions, but not dentistry or glasses (which leaves her $8,000 a year before taxes to live on), b) buy major medical coverage with a large deductible for about $300 a month, but still pay over a hundred a month for prescriptions, and so do without dentistry or glasses, or c) sign up for the CHIP program in her state, which covers all medical expenses, prescriptions, dentistry, and glasses for her kids. Mom will do without, as always.

Our president thinks you don’t need insurance, because you can always go to the emergency room. Try doing that with a toothache. He needs to walk in someone else’s moccasins for a while.

Tuffi

Remember the clown in the movie Dumbo who said something to the effect of, “Elephants don’t have feelings. They’re made of rubber!” This is the story of Tuffi, the elephant pictured at the left. There are plenty more pictures at this site. The text is in German, but I have provided an extremely garbled Babelfish translation here.

Wuppertal is admits by the suspension railway and the suspension railway is admits by Tuffi. That elephant, which remained intact, as it like an elephant in the suspension railway car his travel improperly terminated....

Once a circus came to Wuppertal, which, as usual, unloaded cars and animals at the station. The animals, also the elephants, should pull to the circus place, whereby Wuppertal was, it 21 June 1950, looked still very unwegig. Which took named Tuffi the desire to the young elephant, over such rubble mountains to trotten. There the elephant nevertheless rather went to the suspension railway station, bought a ticket and ward, one took interests portion, in the cars calmly.

Now swings however did not please suspension railways, which Tuffi, then reported. Thus it broke through the door of the car and jumped into the Wupper. He did not know, it up to the next stop was as far - it would have been eagle bridge.

Since there was however 1950 regrettably neither television nor CNN, one could see whole the naturally not live and no photographer pressed on the trip. Thus again once the Lithografen had to lie ran, those those, white one, could best bildnerisch. Commodity the hole really of Tuffi, now, then would have he not only a beautiful hole in all peace into the trailer torn, but also still well a meter to high-jump to have, in order to come by the hole. In addition: flying elephants do not walk by air and the ohrenklappen hang downward, it are, the wind push up them again.

But like humans like that are, they do not goennen an elephant even the bath in the Wupper and drove them in such a way it, in hat and coat, understand themselves, again on the road back. Where it had to then draw the remainder of the way as last and smallest in the row trunks on tail of the way. And debt at everything was a zirkusdirektor oldhopes, who had not sent its elephant into the elephant suspension railway school. Which punishment the elephant got, is not well-known, because it crushed seat with its back still another, gehauen a camera zerschmettert and two reporters with the trunk one into the lip. Pfui.

(via Dark Roasted Blend, where you’ll find lots more animal photos)

News and Information Links

Uhura is back on TV as Nichelle Nichols takes a role on Heroes.

If you are a student at Penn State and need repair, you can request one via computer. It ain’t gonna be easy, so here’s a helpful guide. If you’re not a Penn State student, this is an example of how NOT to design a system. (via Metafilter)

At age 79, Elizabeth van Kampen wrote the story of how she grew up in the Dutch East Indies (now Indonesia), including the Japanese occupation in World War 11. (via Metafilter)

After a stroke, a prolific novelist describes learning to use words all over again.

United States Poverty Map. (via Cynical-C)

The Kowloon Walled City. The most crowded living neighborhood ever.

Kentucky Inbreeding: The Blue People of Troublesome Creek. (Thanks, Bill!)

Hillary Clinton Nutcracker.

If nothing changes between now and 2008, I’ll most likely vote for her, but this is too funny not to share! Get your Hillary Clinton Nutcracker for just $19.95. See the video here. Nuts also available. (via Everlasting Blort)

Information worth reading.

If it happens in Second Life, is it really cheating?

A low-tech way to turn saltwater into fresh water.

13 things you should avoid doing on a first date. (via Look at This)

If we knew how to live on Mars, we'd know how to reduce our footprint on Earth. (via Boing Boing)

There are no giant bugs under your bed, and here is why.

Does your job make you smile?

My Daughter Won’t Shut Up. At age four, the inner monologue is on the outside.

The Cup&Up surgery to give you a bra underneath the skin. This creeps me out.

If you are a student at Penn State and need repair help, you can request one via computer. It ain’t gonna be easy, so here’s a helpful guide. If you’re not a Penn State student, this is an example of how NOT to design a system. (via Metafilter)

Mother Teresa goes to Heaven

Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greets her at the Pearly Gates. "Are you hungry, Mother Teresa?" says God.

"I could eat," Mother Teresa replies.

So God opens a can of tuna and reaches for a chunk of rye bread and they share it.

While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looks down into Hell and sees the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and wines. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remains quiet.The next day God again invites her to join Him for a meal.

Again, it is tuna and rye bread.

Once again, Mother Teresa can see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates.

Still she says nothing.

The following day, mealtime arrives and another can of tuna is opened.

She can't contain herself any longer. Meekly, she says: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with You as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread, and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! I just don't understand."

God sighs. "Let's be honest," He says. "For just two people, does it pay to cook?"

(via Big Shot Bob in Texas)

Around the Blogosphere

Skunkfeathers has no tornados to chase, so he’s been scambaiting. In this epic story, he puts on a benefit concert to raise funds for a Nigerian 419 “magazine editor”. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five.

Omegamom had to ship turtles to Alaska. Here’s how to pack turtles for shipping. In case you ever need to know. The hard part is finding someone who will ship them.

PRAYER LIST

Lisa B. has a friend in her building battling ovarian cancer AND the health insurance company.

Vickie is dealing with the effects of MS and keeping a smile on her face as much as she can.

Raggedy still battles health problems and not yet able to take part in blogging. Meanwhile, Hoss is posting at her site.

If you know of other prayer concerns, email me or leave a comment.

Contortionist Dance

May be disturbing.

Lots of Fun Links

Fark displayed its 3 millionth active thread today, with a big thread to celebrate. Congratulations to Drew Curtis and the gang at Fark on the milestone!

Attacked by a Catwalk! This is why I am SO thankful that I am not a million-dollar fashion model.

TheWAREHOUSE Bacon Tomb: One Year Later.

What happens in a Vegas bathroom stays in a Vegas bathroom. Or not.

Put Your Hands Up for Detroit was a video pitch from Stuart Alexander MacKay-Smith (SmackEyeSmith), featuring strippers, contortionists, and hoochie-coochie dancers. The idea was rejected. I found it quite clever. (via Metafilter)

No more Flat Chests!

The Internet Phenomena Phonetic Alphabet. (via Neatorama)

Anatomy Tattoos. (via Respectful Insolence)

Strongbad plays miniature golf.

World Record Underpants-Jumping.

You know how every once in a while you run across something so random, so nonsensical, and so off-the-wall that you have to share it with everyone? Read this.

Pols in the News

Cheney was right!

What’s next for Karl Rove.

Bush is trying to beat Reagan’s record for the most vacation time taken while in office.

Here’s something to make you think. Is it ethically bad to cheat to save millions of lives? What if you profit from it? And will the real facts ever come out?

Military spending.

Texas is the only place in the United States where a person can be factually innocent of murder and still face the death penalty. Like Kenneth Foster.

Bulletproof Backpack

Here's an ad that can send chills up your spine... but remember, it's an AD, they are trying to sell you a product. I must be a bad mama, since I bought the standard $15 backpacks for my kids.

Interesting

Don’t Try This at Home: Totally Dangerous Experiments.

21 Critical Life Lessons You Didn’t Learn in School. This is good.

New documentary on the history of vibrators.

Ten Reasons why Teddy Roosevelt is the Coolest President Ever.

The Ten Best Bands that Never Existed. (via the Presurfer)

The Best Movies Never Made. (via Grow-A-Brain)

Colorful Solar Eclipse coming August 28th.

Ten strange facts about Sir Isaac Newton.

The iPhone Shuffle

Welcome to America

Welcome to America. A journalist from England came to LA for a story and was arrested for not knowing she now needed a special visa. This is the way we treat visitors from allied nations these days.

Wrongly deported to Mexico, a developmentally disabled man is found safe weeks later. Did they even try to find out his nationality? Or is it just illegal to be brown these days?

Another horror story about gays with no rights. After 25 years together, one partner became disabled, and custody was awarded to his parents, who will not let the other partner even visit, much less participate in his care. Anyone in a committed relationship without the benefit of marriage needs to anticipate all scenarios and get their ducks in a row legally. Of course, marriage would take care of all these piecemeal legalities, but until then, you must protect yourself.

Just for Fun

Opportunities in Abstinence Training. (via Exploding Aardvark)

The advertising company Star Dust has compiled a mesmerizing video montage of samples from their work over the past year. Set to the music of Gimme Shelter, its a treat for the eyes! (via YesButNoButYes)

Don’t do a victory dance until after you’ve crossed the finish line!

Louis CK on kids. NSFW audio. Hilarious!

The Dancing Steve Ballmer Zune ad that got a Microsoft employee fired.

At Miss Cellania, you’ll want to see new posts on Cooking, Mixed Drinks, and the First Date.

The Language of Coffee

I posted a link to the Starbucks Oracle at Neatorama. It’s a silly generator that tells you your personality according to what you order at Starbucks. The comments were active. Someone asked why Starbucks is demonized. I can’t really answer that, as I don’t go to Starbucks. There isn’t one anywhere near where where I live. One person answered about how Starbucks pushed out local coffeeshops. Another said they corrupted the language of coffee. The language of coffee?

Then I found a post at the Consumerist, Order A Starbucks Tazo Chai Latte For Half Price.

I simply ask for a chai tea misto, with two bags so it's nice and strong, and half cinnamon and half vanilla syrup, with lots of foam. I sprinkle a bit of cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla on the foam and BAM! I've halved my drink allowance for the week, but not lost any of the flavour.

Alrighty then. I know that “chai” is an Indian word for “tea” (in America, its usually short for “masala chai”, which mean “spicy tea”), and “latte” is French for “got milk?” but I have no clue what "tazo" or "misto" is. Yep, its a whole ‘nother language. There is a fancy-schmancy coffee shop in my little town (not a chain), but they are OK with me going in and ordering a “large coffee.” Especially since my kids order Jones Soda and chai.

What's Going On

Bush vs. Zombies (Thanks, Jan!)


The AFL-CIO Democratic Debate, August 7, 2007. Jellio posted the whole thing, in nine parts.

A chart of presidential candidates and their positions.

Celebrating Income Equality. Why its a good thing that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. And an excellent response from Saskboy.

Eating babies, poisoned bullets? Disturbing myths the Iraqis believe about the US military.

Jason Alexander is Lord Rovemort.

How the news works. (via Grow-A-Brain)

America is taxing for all but the very rich.

Information you can use.

Remastering the original Star Trek series.

How to make your very own exploding soap.

Tiger gives birth to twin cubs - one yellow and one white. Tony asks Maury Povich for advice, DNA testing.

Proponents thought pornography would enhance sex. Naysayers said it would lead to rape and obsession. Read about how it has turned out to have neither effect. In fact, it kinda ruins things for normal folks.

Why do people have sex? Duh. Because it feels good.

How to make an eyeball pincushion.

The history of perpetual motion machines.

How your brain deals with falling in love.

10 Unsolved Mysteries Of The Brain.

Fun links

Giant steampunk robots fight it out in A Gentlemen’s Duel.

Bird Deterrant Fails. (via Arbroath)

A collection of misheard lyrics videos. You’ll never hear these songs the same again.

The ten worst sci-fi shows ever.

Nude skydiving.

The movie Airplane! was based on a serious but cheesy movie called Zero Hour. You might notice the resemblance.

Kuato Sings Chocolate Rain.

The Hazards of Live Reporting, chapter 832. The Brits handle this sort of thing a little differently.

Today at Miss Cellania: Teenage Boys.

Political Links

Salary, gender and the social cost of haggling.

If abortion were illegal, how much jail time should the guilty woman get? Watch the video of protesters answering this question.

Rove refuses to testify, claiming executive privilege. And why not? So many have tried this and no one has done anything to stop it.

If Roosevelt had run WWII like Dubya.

Speculation about what oil prices will do to us.

Wedding Announcements

More unfortunate (but funny) wedding announcements.

And even more here. (via Puppies and Flowers)

More previously posted at Miss Cellania.

Interesting Links

Ten classic World of Warcraft music videos.

12 Pop Culture Cavemen (and Cavewomen).

Charley. You haven’t seen a touching kitty video until you’ve seen this one.

The annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2007 results showcase the worst writing ever.

The rise & fall of the prefrontal lobotomy. Not for the squeamish.

Here’s a collection of clever male and female restroom door signs from around the world. (via the Presurfer)

Robots