Sunday, February 23, 2020

Paranoia



Click to the right to advance the comic, and all will become clear. This story is from Deogie. (via Geeks Are Sexy)

Obi-Wan

(via YouTube)

Zamboni Driver Wins Hockey Game



In the sport of hockey, the goaltender is a unique position, requiring such a particular set of skills that a team cannot just substitute another player. Teams keep two goalies ready, and also a designated emergency backup, an experienced amateur, on the off chance that their two goalies are injured. Saturday night, the Carolina Hurricanes saw both their goalies injured, and called up 42-year-old Zamboni driver David Ayres to fill in. He made eight saves on ten shots to help the team defeat the Toronto Maple Leafs. A good time was had by all. (via reddit)

Whiskers

(via Fark)

Wendy's Grill Skills



A training film from 1989 includes a song about how to grill a Wendy's burger just so. (via reddit)

Tweet of the Day


Hello! (via Everlasting Blort)

Saturday, February 22, 2020

Bloody Mary Time

Happy Birthday

(via reddit)

King Cake



Last year, when I was working at a grocery store during Carnival season, we were mandated to make king cakes, but the required decorations did not arrive until May. We also sold Pฤ…czkis, but a six-week supply arrived two days before Ash Wednesday.

Leftovers



Such logical thinking, but it still doesn't make kids eat. This comic is from Nathan Pyle's Strange Planet.

Late

Why Do We Drive on Parkways and Park on Driveways?



It's a common joke on English usage: Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Leave it to the guys from Today I Found Out to take the question seriously and do the research to answer it. Simon Whistler explains where those various words came from.

Tanzi


(via Cheezburger)

Ormie the Pig



Ormie wants a cookie. There's a reason we put cookies up on top of the refrigerator -so little pigs can't get them! Ormie does have his own Facebook page, though.

Tweet of the Day


(via Buzzfeed)

Friday, February 21, 2020

Real Estate

Before and after you move somewhere else. (via Bad Newspaper)

Conventions

(via reddit)

Diabetes



How do you pronounces diabetes? Is it diabeettus or diabeetees? Behold the tug-of-war between Wilford Brimley and some doctor on TV. Brimley was put back into the spotlight earlier this month when people noticed the resemblance between him and the coach of the Kansas City Chiefs.



(via Metafilter)

Winter Weather

(via Fark)

ALONE: Stormtrooper on the Run



This fan film takes place just after Return of the Jedi. A surviving stormtrooper finds himself isolated on the forest moon of Endor. Is he communicating with surviving Empire forces, or are the voices all in his head? (via Geeks Are Sexy)

Born in the USA



After years of his song being blithely misinterpreted, Bruce Springsteen performs it a bit differently these days.

Miss Cellania's Links

The “Distracted Boyfriend” Meme Gets An Unexpected Twist In This Funny Comic.

The Simple Math Error That Can Lead to Bankruptcy. It's the gambler's fallacy, since we don't understand the rules of probability. (via Digg)

The End of Miss America.

Actors Who Originally Auditioned For Rick Grimes And Negan On The Walking Dead.

You People Made Me Give Up My Peanut Farm Before I Got To Be President. While real life has outstripped satire for weirdness, The Onion has a way of highlighting the truth beneath.

The Doctor Who Blew Hydrogen Gas Up His Patient's Asses. Then lit a match to see if their wounds burned.

It turns out that Anna Calcaterra, who made that viral map last week, has a long history of spreading chaos. So does her brother. (via Metafilter)

We Calculated How Much We Pay Trump to Play Golf. It Turns Out, He's America's 10th Highest Paid Athlete.

How One Man and His Dog Rowed More Than 700 Kฤkฤpลs to Safety. While Henry's efforts were akin to sticking one's finger in a dyke to hold back a flood, his ideas are being resurrected today in order to save the last 211 kakapos in existence.

A blast from the past (2007): More Periodic Tableware.

The Gourmet

(via Fark)

Jazzman



Carole King performing her 1974 hit "Jazzman" in 1981.

Tweet of the Day


Me, in my 60s: This grocery store has music I have never heard before. (via Bored Panda)

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Fight the Good Fight

Boycycle



This video by Salvatore Ganacci concerns a man who has wheels instead of legs. Not in the normal manner of a wheelchair, but a body that is also a motorcycle. Supremely weird, but also familiar, as the plotline follows many stories you've seen before. Boing Boing compares it to the new Progressive insurance ads that feature a "motaur." 

Free!

(via reddit)

True Facts: Mating Dance of The Peacock Spider



It appears that Ze Frank read the article Fourteen Fun Facts About Love and Sex in the Animal Kingdom, which I linked to just yesterday. He then ran to get some peacock spider footage from Jรผrgen Otto and wrote a little song about the peacock spider's sex life. This amusing video might possibly contain NSFW language, depending on your workplace.

At the Organic Market

Kindred souls they are. This comic is from Jim Benton. (via reddit)

Parking Helper

Miss Cellania's Links

Let There Be Light: One Artist's Mission to Resurrect Old World Stained Glass.

The Legend of a Cave and the Traces of the Underground Railroad in Ohio.

The best argument for each of the 2020 Democratic frontrunners. This may be affected by  last night's debate, with Warren up and Bloomberg down.

Build Yourself a Bird Trap. A video that does not waste your time.

I Spoke Out Against Sexual Harassment at Uber. The Aftermath Was More Terrifying Than Anything I Faced Before

The Princess, the Plantfluencers, and the Pink Congo Scam. (via Metafilter)

8 Hilarious Historical Feuds. They include Mark Twain's vendetta against the postal service, the fight over how vultures smell, and a dinosaur built all wrong.

Trump Shoots Man on Fifth Ave. The latest comic from Tom the Dancing Bug.

Madame Yale Made a Fortune With the 19th Century’s Version of Goop.

A blast from the past (2009): 7 Animals That Appear to Fly (Besides Birds, Bats, and Insects).

Dashing Through the Snow

(via Fark)

I Was Made to Love Her



Stevie Wonder's 1967 hit "I Was Made to Love Her" was written by four people, including Wonder and his mother, Lula Mae Hardaway. I don't know what year this video is from, but Wonder had just turned 17 when the song came out.

Tweet of the Day


(via Laughing Squid)

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

What a Difference!

Before and after the dentist tells a good joke. (via Bad Newspaper)

An Honest Trailer for Knives Out



This Honest Trailer contains spoilers, but I don't care, I watched it and now I want to see Knives Out. It's a star-studded murder mystery, which is usually not my cup of tea. But how could you not want to watch a film in which James Bond has a "Kentucky fried Foghorn Leghorn drawl"? Besides, it was both a critical and box office hit, and everyone I know who saw it said they liked it. Screen Junkies appears to as well, although they did find plenty of ways to poke fun.

Honesty

(via reddit)

A Modern Spiritual



Brewer and Shipley took their song "One Toke Over the Line" to #10 in 1971. Trying to appeal to a younger generation, TV host and bandleader Lawrence Welk featured it on his show shortly afterward, apparently having no clue what the song was about. The story behind this unique TV clip, courtesy of Tom Shipley, is told here. (via Metafilter)

I Am

He is still dog, and he's a good dog. This comic is from Chris at Lunarbaboon.

Upgrade

Everyone Pranks Hux



One scene from The Last Jedi proved to be the perfect canvas for Auralnauts to project all the silliness they could muster.


Miss Cellania's Links

The Man Behind the Counter. Charles Bess was a busboy at the Greensboro Woolworth during the sit-in in 1960. (via Metafilter

Fan Fiction Was Just as Sexual in the 1700s as It Is Today. (via Damn Interesting)

Josh Gibbs of Frog Forest Designs built a custom vivarium for a client who wanted to surprise her Star Wars fan husband. He recreated the environment on Dagobah, where Yoda trained Luke Skywalker, right down to Luke's crashed X-Wing starfighter! (via Geeks Are Sexy)

No Rules for Donald. Randy Rainbow interviews Attorney General Barr for his latest song parody.

17th-century Plague Doctors Were the Stuff of Nightmares.

This guy got pulled over and got a printed warning from a cop for driving 65 mph in a 70 mph zone.

That Time John Adams Almost Died Sailing to Europe. (via Digg)

Fourteen Fun Facts About Love and Sex in the Animal Kingdom. They range from sad or mildly gross to truly horrifying.

Dave Meslin just wanted to order boxes from Amazon. He received some granola instead. That was the beginning of an adventure in which he felt stuck in an endless loop of ever-more-bizarre deliveries and order corrections.

A blast from the past (2012): 9 Pre-Lenten Treats from Around the World.

Why?

(via Fark)

Coffee Shop Customers



We always remember the weirdest ones. (via I Am Bored)

Tweet of the Day


(via Buzzfeed)

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Mourning Melt

Further evidence of too much confidence in the abilities of the most useless team member. (via Bad Menu)

Maru Puts on the Box



After ten years of testing every box possible, it looks as if Maru has found the perfect one- a box he can fit into, sort of, and carry around with him. A box he can wear while doing other things. And one he can get out of when he wants to!

The Stove

In which the roommate discovers he is pansexual. And immediately gets burnt. This comic is from Chris Hallbeck at Maximumble.

Entrance

When Art Restoration Goes South



If you were on the 'net in 2012, you no doubt heard plenty about Ecce Homo, the Spanish artwork that was the victim of a botched restoration and became the biggest meme of the year. Cecilia Gimรฉnez, the amateur artist who "touched up" the original painting, was quite traumatized at the notoriety the story brought, but plenty has happened in the eight years since then. Solar Sands updates her story, and those of a couple of other unfortunate art restoration attempts in this video. (via reddit)

Miss Cellania's Links

Signed, Sealed, and Undelivered. A treasure trove of 2600 letters from 300 years ago is making its way online for all to see. http://brienne.org/brienne-exhibit-cover (via Metafilter)

Things People Misunderstand About Famous Works Of Art.

How America made a mess of measuring poverty.

The 50-Year Journey to Solve the Murder of Harvard Student Jane Britton. (via Strange Company)

The 50 Greatest Romantic Comedies of All Time. Your mileage may vary.

Extinct Turtle Weighed 2,500 Pounds.

U.N. warns that runaway inequality is destabilizing the world’s democracies. (via Metafilter)

A home inspector found some weird stuff in a crawl space, called police, and then posted it to reddit. A few hours later, it made the papers.

How 1920s Catholic Students Fought the Ku Klux Klan. And why so many Catholic colleges changed their names. (via Damn Interesting)

A blast from the past (2007): Parade Time in New Orleans.

Billiards

(via Fark)

MinusIQ



The world is a much happier place when you're dumb. (via Clipnation)

Tweet of the Day


(via Everlasting Blort)

Monday, February 17, 2020

Presidents

When You're in the Club and You're Hungry



Comedian Bec Hill shares a collection of misheard lyrics that arise from hunger. This was made as a promotion for the BBC One show The Hit List. (via Laughing Squid)

Lemons

The Sentences Computers Can't Understand, But Humans Can



This is why computers are no substitute for experience. Part of my work involves proofreading other people's writing, and I've tackled problems like this, which can arise when someone is writing in their second or third language. No, the writer would never think you could put a suitcase into a trophy, but knowing the words to make that flow correctly in a different language is a challenge. Still, humans are pretty good a deciphering fractured English; computers are not. 

Boyfriend

I think this scenario may be speculative, because as far as I know, his daughter was born in 2015. But it's the right attitude ready to go! This comic is from Chris at Lunarbaboon.

Young and Cool

Jurassic Thunder



"Hey! What if we made Jurassic Park into a war movie? No, we don't have any money for special effects, but maybe people will buy it as a comedy!" That seems to be the thinking behind Jurassic Thunder, a real movie, in a sense, that isn't even plausible enough for TV. High Octane Pictures is going for the Sharknado crowd with a film that will be available on DVD and digital download March 10. (via Geeks Are Sexy

Miss Cellania's Links

How to Leave Your Lover with Lemons. Handing someone a lemon for romantic rejection was one of those things everyone understood in the first part of the 20th century, but seems rather obscure now. (via Nag on the Lake)

1889: The Cats and Dog That Saved 37 Lives. The moral of the story is that you need to know what a natural gas leak smells like, and it's good to have pets. (via Strange Company)

So How Did the Heart Become the Symbol of Love Anyway? 

Target's Delivery App Workers Describe a Culture of Retaliation and Fear. "...every single person is losing money on the new pay scale.” But at least the unemployment figures are down. (via Metafilter)

The Bizarre Tale of the Pizza Collar Bomber. Even if you remember it from the news, you don't know the whole story.

A great idea to make the coffee corner a more social place.

Can we stop tiptoeing around the fact that Trump is behaving like a dictator?   

Printing Money is a visualization of how fast you earn, how others earn, and how corporations earn. Scroll down and hang on! (via Kottke)

Acceptance emails were sent out for the 50 slots at the Mayo Clinic Alix School of Medicine. To all 364 finalists. Oops. (via reddit)

A blast from the past (2012): 8 Heroic U.S. Military Chaplains.

Swat

Help Me



Joni Mitchell recorded live in 1974. The song really affected 15-year-old me, because I think I may have fallen in love a dozen or so times that year.

Tweet of the Day


(via Buzzfeed)

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Marquee

It is said that managers will always send the most useless member of the team out to change the marquee because they need the competent ones inside. (via Bad Menu)

One Week



You know what Barenaked Ladies really needs? A mass choir explaining how to pronounce "sorry." The band collaborated with 500 voices from Choir! Choir! Choir! for a fundraiser for Covenant House Toronto, and the result is a real hoot. (via Metafilter)

Payback

(via reddit)

Calculation



You can see it coming a mile away, but you will still  giggle. (via Fark)

Polymer

Sounds pretty effective to me. Lucky that my kids were nearly grown before I ever saw rapid-drying polymeric foam in use. That stuff is wild! This comic is from Zach Weinersmith at Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.

The Wizard of Oz

(via Bored Panda)

Mine! Mine!



You know what happens when you try to eat at the beach. It's the same the world over. These seagulls were patrolling a festival in Australia. (via reddit)

The Abyss

(via Fark)

Falling Snow



The falling temperatures and "falling" snowflakes are dominos! Constructed by domino geek FlippyCat. (via Buzzfeed)

Tweet of the Day


(via Buzzfeed)



Saturday, February 15, 2020

Your Results May Vary

The Knuckle Huck: Snowboarding for Those with a Death Wish



The Knuckle Huck is an unofficial snowboarding event at the XGames. There's somewhat of an explanation here, but it boils down to snowboarders showing off the weirdest and most dangerous stunts they can come up with. (via Digg)

Do Not Enter

(via reddit)

Bernie Sanders on the Today Show 1981



In 1981, Bernard Sanders became the mayor of Burlington, Vermont, and soon after was interviewed by Phil Donahue on The Today Show. In the almost 40 years since, inflation has made the figures in this video laughable, income inequality has grown exponentially, and Bernie lost his hair, but otherwise he is exactly the same as he's ever been.   

Three Wishes



You may think layers are bloodsucking leeches, but then you try to imagine a world without them. This comic is from eat the rich. (via reddit)

Gogh Cup

(Thanks, WTM!)

Strawberry Letter 23



The 1977 hit by The Brothers Johnson never says the title of the song in its lyrics. However, they refer to "strawberry letter 22" once. This was a go-to trivia question of the time. 

Witness Protection Program

(via reddit)

Snow-White



A 1933 Betty Boop cartoon featuring Cab Calloway and his Orchestra. You've seen the "St. James Infirmary" clip here, but now you have the entire cartoon. (via mental_floss)

Tweet of the Day


(via The Root)



Friday, February 14, 2020

His One True Love

Star Wars Meets Rasputin



I have only today become aware of a meme that marries two of my favorite distractions, even though it's been around for a couple of years. Star Wars fans have been editing their favorite villain of the franchise into the song "Rasputin" bye Boney M. Above is one featuring Darth Vader. Continue to see a half-dozen more.

Valentines Day Plans

(via Fark)

The Day Democracy Died



After their original rationale for the electoral college failed, after their carefully-thought-out checks and balances failed, the Founding Fathers tell us what they think we should do now. A clever song, well sung, with an important message. The singing portraits may be a little creepy, but you can deal with that.

Inheritance



Why, oh why did I make new year plans to sort and get rid of all this useless stuff in my house, when it's so much easier to just let it sit? This comic is from Puddlemunch.

The Anti-Valentine



I can relate to this, more than I really care to admit. This timely graph is from Matt Shirley.

The Tell-Tale Heart Cake



Alasdair Martin's mother, who has been baking fanciful cakes for 45 years, made this cake for her office's Valentines Day party. It's a reference to the Edgar Allen Poe tale. The Jell-O heart has a pump inside, and the writing on the book was made with an icing printer. The sound comes from a separate source. While we are impressed, only time will tell if anyone has the guts to cut and eat it. (via reddit)

Miss Cellania's Links

A Flowchart: Can We Date? According to the circumstances of my last husband, we should not have, but it worked out anyway. (via Nag on the Lake

A Brief History Of Why America's Healthcare System Sucks.

Women Don’t Become ‘Nice Girls,’ They Become ‘Pick Mes.’ Another way society teaches women to become their own worst enemies.

In A Departure From The Comics, Negan Is Going Full Whisperer On The Walking Dead. The series returns a week from Sunday.

“If I Couldn’t Tell These Stories, I Would Die”: Lincoln and Laughter. The president had a non-stop gift for humor.  (via Damn Interesting)

Trump to NY: Stop lawsuits against me if you want Global Entry. The very definition of extortion.

NBC baseball writer Craig Calcaterra found a map of the Western Hemisphere that his daughter Anna had been working on, and we all have so many questions. Everyone is horrified at the idea of Ohio 2. (via Mashable)

In Their Own Words: Unpublished Children's Notebooks Reveal Poignant View of History. 

A blast from the past (2007): Offbeat Animal Competitions.

A Cat's Love Poem

Happy Valentines day!

How Single Cats Are Spending Valentine’s Day



From Jeff Wysaski at Pleated-Jeans.

Valentines Day Begins

Thursday, February 13, 2020

Valentine Gift Guide

How The Rise of Skywalker Should Have Ended



The folks at How It Should Have Ended had a lot to think about after seeing The Rise of Skywalker. They came up with about a dozen points in the movie where it could have ended rather suddenly, which they show us quickly. It took them two months to decide on the best alternate ending, the one that would have been the most satisfying, not to mention funny.

Tom and Jerry

(via reddit)

The Pied Piper Of Raccoons



The YouTube description says this man can charm raccoons with his music. You and I know it's more of a case that raccoons are willing to suffer through recorder music to get that sweet, sweet dog food. (via Nag on the Lake)

Dad on the Phone

In case you miss Kate Beaton's comic Hark, a vagrant, you should follow her on Twitter. She posts comics about her new life as a mom, and they are just as funny as the historical comics she became known for.

Valentines Scheme

(via someecards)